Texas Setting Snow Records.
Cold rewrites Oregon history books...Well, we asked for it. Now the Global Warming cannot be stopped.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Obamacare Architect: If You Like Your Doctor, You Can Pay More.
"That way you'll pay more to get to keep your same doctor you had for less. That's the miracle of Obamacare."
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
China Showing Off Again
China launched it's 400th Aircraft Carrier. "Now we will begin building the airplanes", says Military Leader.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #500
According to Snoops: Before going out as a solo act, Meat Loaf sung lead for "Sugar Loaf".
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #708
According to Snoops: The first name for the musical, "Annie Get Your Gun!" was "Annie, Got Your Nose!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Police Find Teen's Body
Police in Chicago say they have found the body of a young man who left a note: "I cannot get to the next stage of "Candy Crush" and nobody has even tried to help!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
One in Four? May Have to Check My Ancestry
China to pass the USA as the number one economy by 2016! Already it leads the world in the production of Chinese.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #813
According to Snoops: Although apparently the word 'sandwich' actually did come from the Earl of Sandwich as claimed, he himself usually referred to it as a 'Sandy'.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #885
According to Snoops: The term, "Our neck of the woods", comes from an old Irish custom where, should a couple be caught out in the wilds making romance, either they had to get married or be hung.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
AIDS Booklets to be Printed
President Obama orders more AIDS booklets be printed for some African nations "and make the readable either side up!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
China Full of Itself
China is now boasting about building a second Great Wall of China, on the moon!
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Nigeria Asks For Help
Nigeria asks President obama to help their country export more beef jerky, unknown ingredients in hot dogs. "Remember, we hold your secrets here!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
WH reversal: Obama did live with uncle
"Just didn't know he was my uncle. I must have a dozen uncles out there, 1,000 cousins. Dad got around." (Papa Was A Rolling Stone" music in background).
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Iran done; Obama, Kerry turn to Mideast
How can Iran be done when they went right back to working on nuclear site? Are these people in a dream state or what? Be a nightmare before long.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Susan Boyle says Asperger's diagnosis was a relief
"They say it's not Autism. Would you reporters back up a bit and form a neat line. One male must leave or it won't be even with female reporters."
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
S. Korea declares expanded air defence zone in disputed area
South Korea Sunday declared an expanded air defence zone that overlaps with one announced by China and covers a submerged rock and big sea turtle disputed by the two countries.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Paul Walker's dad begged him to stop 'daredevil' ways. REED: Shades of James Dean!
Apparently James Dean's shades were found in what was left of the car. No one knows how they go there.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Scam Targets D.C. Health Exchange.
Has charged over 50,000 males with birthing problems, females with testicle problems.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
#2 Recording of brain activity could lead to mind-reading devices.
It already seems to work on everyone but those in Washington and Scarecrow from Oz.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Recording of brain activity could lead to mind-reading devices.
"That does not compute! Error! "System has been hacked. People turning into zombies. Vote for Hillary in 2016!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Iran presses ahead with uranium enrichment technology.
Used invisible ink on papers the President of the U.S. was holding up for the cameras the other day.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
FBI Can Secretly Activate Individual's Webcam.
"Just so they leave Viagra control alone, you go ahead. Might see some good stuff", laughs old timey man.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Health center heads fired over absenteeism
Called in "Sick" over one hundred days last year! Cell phone calls traced to Rio, Las Vegas and Monaco.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Health disparities 'could be eliminated in a generation,' study finds
We could all be equally dead if any of the new diseases get out of control.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
10 questions to ask yourself about personal finance
Number one: Am I broke? #2. Is there a hole in my pocket?
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Snow, ice, deep-freeze hit large swath of US
We're already into enough trouble with botched Obamacare and the economy. We don't need frostbite of our Swath!
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
As wine fakers get sharper, industry fights back
"Check to see if the old-looking label does not cover a Two-Buck Chuck label", say industry specialists. "You may have just paid for a $200,000-Buck Chuck!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
US vet Merrill Newman, 85, home from North Korea
"Thank goodness you got me out of there before they tortured me by making me smell that buried cabbage!"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Survivors recall Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor
First interview was botched: "Pearl Harbor? I thought it was the survivors of Pearl Bailey?"
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #098
According to Snoops: When the game of Hockey was first invented, they played outdoors on frozen lakes and the puck was frozen bear poop! The face mask came along real soon after that.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #650
According to Snoops: The most popular tourist destination in America? "The Knothole Fence" in southern Florida, home of the world's largest nudist colony.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #967
According to Snoops: Actually there never was a real "Dead Poet's Society". However, there was a "Feed the Poets Society".
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Kim's uncle removed from NKorean state documentary
Looks like he's knocking off the whole family. Now if someone will just take care of Kim?
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
GRAMMY NOMINATIONS: Jay Z on Top With 9 Nods.
The Nine Nods! I never did know the name of back-up group. Sounds like the Houston Baseball team.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Porn Industry Shut Down Again -- New Star HIV Positive.
Now 90 percent HIV Positive. Ten percent fleeing for their lives. Government Warning: Do Not have sex with Porn Stars!
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
'Climate Change' Warning: Killer Winter Storms for Next THIRTY Years.#2
Well, at least we won't have all those pesky dinosaurs around ruining everything!
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
'Climate Change' Warning: Killer Winter Storms for Next THIRTY Years.
What ever happened to global warming?
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Breakthrough in WWII!
It finally came when we decoded the German messages which were written in Polish Pig Latin.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
U.S. Owns Up To It!
Although the United States government denies it faked the 1969 moon landing, it does admit to faking Woodstock the same year.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Spring Protest Coming
Millions of Americans plan to dry their big vehicles into Washington DC this Spring, to protest pollution by Big Oil!
Big ole what, we don't know!
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
Holiday Season Layoffs!
Another two hundred workers laid off after Ben and Jerry's Pun Factory closes, also leaving several Spoof writers without the proper funny punchline or pun, to close.
written by Bureau, 08 December 2013
