Obama To Take Web Design Class
President Obama has announced plans to take a web design course in order to fix the Obamacare website. "I guess I just have to do everything myself if I want it done right," spoke the President.
written by Al N., 03 December 2013
Kim Jong Un Forces Wife to Make Porn Tape, Then Has Her Executed for Making Porn Tape
In breaking news out of Pyonyang, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un ordered his wife to make a porn tape. After the tape was made, he ordered her executed for making a porn tape.
written by Al N., 03 December 2013
Whoops! Need to watch my language
Kim Jong-Un said N. Korea would not hesitate to use it's nuclear weapons in a "horrendous planet-shaker." I just hope no one is stupid enough to provoke that flat headed dork. Was that an earthquake?
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Al Gore Going?
President said today that Al Gore may go to N. Korea to get captured tourist. When Kim Jong heard this, he let Gore go! "I go crazy about his gerbil worming."
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Smokey The Bear Confession
Smokey The Bear has plead guilty to several forest fires over the past 20 years. "I tried to tell everybody that 'Only You' can prevent forest fires. Me, I couldn't help myself. Nobody tried to help."
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
what men knew all along!
Scientists have discovered that men and women are wired differently. All men married longer than a week knew that all the time!
written by unknown
NRA Warns Washingtown!
Even if you succeeded in taking our guns, we can make some big noise with easy-made bombs.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Many think Obama missed role
"He should have been in charge of Russia, He'd be perfect", :The Unknown GOP!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
IRS Auditing Cancer Patient Who Lost Coverage, Spoke Out.
So if you get screwed by the Obamacare and complain, the IRS will audit you?
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
REPORT: White House Exploring Ways to Let Iran Enrich Uranium.#2
Israel: It will never happen. We may take out oil fields unless U.S. strikes their nuclear plants.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
REPORT: White House Exploring Ways to Let Iran Enrich Uranium.
Israel says it will not happen and the U.S. is bringing in a middle east war.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Chief Counsel Says 'I Don't Recall' Over 80 Times...
Tripped up twice with: What's your name? Are you still beating your wife?"
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Americans on Disability Exceeds Greece's Total Population...
And as you watch our 'entertainment', it's mostly mental disability.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
PEW: Public says America's world leadership has tumbled to 40-year low.
And now it's on roller skates! Wonder how the next leader will outdo this one? He'll really have to work on it.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
President Obama Sends Car Parts Back to 1960's to Cuba
Ship will arrive in March, 2014. Castro Brothers offer return 25-year-old Elian Gonzales!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Indians Making Strides In Space
They hope to have the first man on Mars! Also, electricity to the other 90% of their country.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Dems, GOP Having Another Argument!
Is it "No one doesn't like Sara Lee" or "No one does it like Sara Lee"? I can feel a filibuster coming on.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #668
According to Snoops: The NFL to change next season due to all the injuries! All players will be required to wear handmade exoskeletons!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #339
According to Snoops: The number of steps you go up the Great Pyramid equals the same number of steps going down the other side. How did they know?
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Hebrew Hard To Learn!
Reads right to left, no vowels and a word like "Shalom" could mean "Hello!, Good-Bye, Have a great day, Hope you get lucky with the wife tonight and This is a holdup!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Rare Comic Brings Big Price
A 1964 Superman Comic brings $250,000. Book Had Jimmy "Tinkerbelle" Olson, gay as Tweety Bird, in one copy as a joke. Artist was fired and went into underground comix!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Old Guy: Early Baseball Was Rough
"Unlike MLB today, early players spit on a ball, cut it on belt buckle, slid with spikes high & never called off a game because of weather, provided the hailstones not big enough to hide the ball."
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Bob Dylan charged in France over Croatia remarks
He should know better than to do frog jokes there.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Marijuana may be contaminated with mold, mildew, pesticide
In other words, this is some prime stuff!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Seahawks fans erupt in raucous cheers, cause minor earthquake in game
Sends tidal wave of nuclear junk back towards Japan!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Where are the smartest 15-year-olds in the world?
"They certainly aren't from here", says Tennessee man stomping out flaming bag of dog poo on his porch.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
North Korea leader Kim Jong-un reportedly sacks his uncle Jang Seong-thaek, No. 2 man in regime
Then has him thrown into the river!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Biden says he'll press China on airspace
Chinese spokesman: We have too many people. Need more air space.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Rand Paul Takes The Call: Must Be Truman's Nephew.
"Yep! Hello! Who is that? OK, I'll check: "Is there a Harry S Crack out there? "Attention! Is there a Harry S. Crack on the Senate floor?"
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
U.S. environment chief to share air pollution lessons with China
U.S. environment chief to share ocean pollution lessons with Japan!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Barefoot Taco Employee Leads Top 9 Grossest Fast-Food Moments #2
Barely beats number two, guy with ice cream cones over each ear! Restaurant says the combs were not sold but how can that be proved? The employee was fired.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Barefoot Taco Employee Leads Top 9 Grossest Fast-Food Moments
"I thought the sign was only for customers", says barefooted employee.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #198
According to Snoops: Scientists now say that long before we run out of gas and oil, we will run out of "You could be a Redneck" jokes.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #139
According to Snoops: The most famous comedian during the stone age was the guy who invented the armpit fart!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #115
According to Snoops: Eva Braun always had a dictator fetish her parents claimed. She was picked up for stalking Franco twice!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Reid Gets The Call
"Hello. Who do you want? Annelle Soars? Attention: Is there an Annelle Soars on the Senate floor?"
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
New "Knockout" in Philly!
Latest victim: Sylvester Stallone! (But he's feeling strong now).
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
SUIT: Feds ripped off Vegas Statue of Liberty for phony postage stamp.#2
Also photo of Lou Gehrig was one photo shopped of Ben Franklin. "Just trying to use anything to save money", says Director.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
SUIT: Feds ripped off Vegas Statue of Liberty for phony postage stamp.
Also, picture of George Washington Carver was that of Rosa Parks photo-shopped!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Self-Driving NISSAN Hits Highway.
Also guard rail, deer, other cars, wrecks and blames the Jews in small Mel Gibson voice.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
2,000 mice dropped on Guam by parachute to kill snakes.
Once one is eaten by snake, it automatically explodes.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Ex-contractor jailed in Cuba says he feels 'abandoned' by USA.
Israel: Welcome to the club!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
TREND: Underage Teens Getting Drunk On Cooking Wine.
Parents: What's wrong with good old-fashioned vanilla extract?
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Charged Dylan told to apologise over alleged racist comments
Called KKK organization prejudiced!
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Shopper sues MACY'S, says held in store jail cell.
"I was questioned by Macy Cops, water boarded till I confessed and gave them the penny I had found on the floor."
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Man with Bird Flu?
Man who shit in Lincoln statue lap in DC arrested and then sent to hospital. Looks like bird flu has returned.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Hong Kong confirms first case of H7N9 bird flu...
"Victim has that R2D2 squeaking whenever he clears his throat, flapping arms!"
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Scientists discover the difference over Male, Female brains!
The most important finding is that the male penis is much smaller than female's brains.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Great Year For Gardening
2014 should be a great year for gardening for White House after all the bullshitting since last year.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Chief Counsel Says 'I Don't Recall' Over 80 Times...
Including his name, wife's name, if they have children, who shot JR. May be sent to hospital for Alzheimer's? disease.
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Issa: FBI impeding inquiry into IRS targeting of conservative groups.
Washington IRS spokesman. "We were told to go after the Big Money first and so we went after the ones who have been successful in their hard work."
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Hackers: No Security Ever Placed In Obamacare
So, ho many have been hacked and received a blackmail notice thus far?
written by Bureau, 03 December 2013
Child fans 'Used as Flare Mules'
After judge Craig Revel Horwood said Flares were "Ghastly" and banned them from the Strictly Ballroom fans have been using children as young as 8 to sneak them into the Saturday night show.
written by John_L, 03 December 2013
Tea was the "Smack" of the 17th Century
Tea first became available in Britain because of the influence of Catherine of Braganza. Her 6 cups a day habit set a trend for it among the aristocracy of England in the seventeenth century.
written by Auntie Jean, 03 December 2013
