Target says hackers stole encrypted pin numbers
Also, your key password and your mother's maiden name! One hacker sends secret message that he alone had over 1,000 names to sell.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Thick ice forces rescue ship to turn back in Antarctic
Rescue ship may need rescuing now. Let's hope It's stuck in the ice also!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
BSA to open ranks to gay youths on Jan. 1
Some groups beginning heterosexual Scouts of America or any name they can use exclusively.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #096
According to Snoops: A head of cabbage looks just like a head of lettuce to a goat.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #354
According to Snoops: Although Herbert Hoover promised "a chicken in every pot", as President he never delivered on his promise.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1131
According to Snoops: It was against the law in the New World's Massachusetts Colony for a Colonial to fart loudly as someone was giving a speech. This is probably the forerunner of today's raspberry!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #311
According to Snoops: Over 5% of all DNA evidence shows President Obama's father!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
5 lessons learned from Target security breach
Lesson #1: Try not to shop at Target Stores. #2 If you need to shop there, don't use a credit card!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Woman charged with stabbing husband with ceramic squirrel
Surgeons say that a ceramic squirrel stabbing is the hardest one to treat!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Stranded ship awaits Australian ice-breaker in Antarctic
As of two hours ago, the ice-breaker was stalled by the ice.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Recipe for disaster? Battle of flour, eggs and firecrackers held in Spain
Old Timer says he can remember when it was flour, eggs and dynamite!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Judge invalidates part of new minimum wage law
From what we have gathered so far, it's the money part that's been invalidated. The rest is the same.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Village only for folks with dementia
Retirement community of Village Idiots working out very well according to all the laughter!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Python kills hotel security guard
Eric Idle, Michael Palin and John Cleese all reportedly seen in the area.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Colorado's marijuana stores open soon
Population expected to double within the next ten years.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
VIDEO: 600 People Brawl Outside Movie Theatre.
No more super-violent movies will be shown here says manager. "The possible exception, the one we filmed outside theater."
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
......Nibble on this.
Rentokil on full alert for anticipated invasion of Eastern European vermin
written by Herrdoktorfox, 28 December 2013
Jewelry Number One Gift
Jewelry was the number one gift this year, according to one retail association's poll. The reason for wanting jewelry is that an ugly face looks better with bling than without. No word on gender.
written by Smart Blonde Bimbo, 28 December 2013
Village Only for Those With Dementia
It's called Washington, DC. prerequisite is congressional tenure.
written by Smart Blonde Bimbo, 28 December 2013
Southern English Middle-Classes Furious About Disruption Caused By Storms
'I'm appalled,' said one Surrey resident. 'No power, no trains and my garden table blew over! This sort of thing happens to Filipinos and Scotsman, not to the middle-classes in the Home Counties.'
written by Swan Morrison, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #733
According to Snoops: Although there are many Bubbas in the southern United States, only "Bubba Gump" has the "Bubba" name on a birth certificate.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #131
According to Snoops: The contortionist, Allen Levins, is the only person in history to be able clean himself all over with his tongue, like a cat!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
UK Klepto cat has sexy undie fetish!
The UK has been shocked by a klepto cat who nicks sexy undies from dirty washing baskets. The pussy has been analysed by a cat shrink and it's problem is; it never gets stroked because it's ginger!
written by unknown
Duckie Robertson To Be Back On A&E
"Ohhhhh goodie! Maybe now we'll get to hear the n-word hear all of the details about bestiality, and lice co-habitation in long beards,"said Sara Palin.
written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
Where Did Old Hank Go?
Hank Williams Jr., wants all of his fans to know that contrary to public belief he is not in the Witness Protection Program.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2013
Compass Point Babies
Kanye West has said that his and Kim Kardashian's next baby is going to be named South - South West.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2013
Kathy Griffin Knows Ugly
Kathy Griffin recently said that Joan "The Moan" Rivers has reached the point where she looks like the ugliest space alien in the Solar System.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2013
Megyn Kelly - The Rumormonger
Heidi Klum says that she has no intention of getting a tattoo of Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2013
Florida Overtakes New York In Population
...also in number of old people, cellulite, sagging breasts, bald heads, and tangerines.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2013
Robertson Talks About Cuba
Duckie Robertson said that the darkies were happiest In Jim Crow days. He then added that the Cubans were joyous sweating and singing 15 hrs a days in the tobacco and cane fields before the revolution
written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
Yahoo News moving stories around to different levels!
Trying to make people believe that everybody was back at work today!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Family buys Beats by Dre headphones at Walmart, but finds cans of tuna instead
Walmart boss: That's the 50th this year. I wish they would catch the rascal that's doing that.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Obama, Democrats push for extension of unemployment benefits
Many are saying that when they get up to five years, they are going to ask to be laid off!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Teen Arrested For Decapitating Man Inside Chicago Apartment.
"Now, if he had decapitated the man 'outside' his Chicago apartment, well I'm getting a head of the story", says lawyer.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Driver survives 300-foot plunge off cliff.
But is a full one and a half-foot shorter!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
THIS IS CNN: Anderson Cooper discusses mothers 'cunnilingus' on air.
We don't even put words like 'cunnilingus" on The Spoof!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Professor admits faking AIDS vaccine to get $19M in grants.
"OK! I gave them steroids. It make them feel stronger!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
UPS deploys 900 managers in trucks to deliver packages.
"About time they got off their lazy backsides and did a little work around here", says fired laborer. Well, he's fired now that we printed it.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Turkey's army forced to deny planning coop!
I'm sorry. That should have been "Turkey's army forced to deny planning coup!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
2013 shatters the record for fewest tornadoes.
From one of those who live near tornado alley, we hope it breaks it again this year.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Obama Didn't Go to Church For Christmas.#2
But why would a Muslim go to church for Christmas? Doesn't make sense.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Obama Didn't Go to Church For Christmas.
President: But I did go play golf with those who went and they told me all about the sermon.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Photo of Michelle: MICHELLE 5-0.
Looks more dangerous than Jack Lord ever did!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
VIDEO: 600 People Brawl Outside Movie Theatre.
Didn't we see all that before at the end of "Blazing Saddles"?
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Cops hunt man who exposed himself to girls during Justin Bieber movie.
Should be easy, if they have a copy of the movie! "Have you seen this Man's?"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
China stepping up presence in Detroit auto industry.
We now have more factories, car stripers and youth gangs than U.S. Detroit city.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Bloomberg Claims Credit for Saving 'Literally' 9,200 Lives.
Closes "Ye Olde Mystery Book Shop" in downtown Manhattan!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Female Marines Not Required to Meet Physical Fitness Standard.#2
"Hey, let's see one of you guys push a 12-pound baby out your belly!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Female Marines Not Required to Meet Physical Fitness Standard.
We must not tell this to our enemies or they will go after them first!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Border Patrol catches 12-year-old Mexican smuggling 80 lbs of marijuana.
"Our whole family up north has been stricken down with the Chemo treatments and glaucoma!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Target contacts Edward Snowden
Target says data was stolen during its massive data breach that enabled hackers to have the most intimate details of its customers. "It's ok now, we've Contacted Ed Snowden to fix it" they reported.
written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
Florida to Overtake New York in Population!.
Right after the next 24 boatloads from Central America!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
First 3D Printed Organ Expected Next Year.
Most men and their wives hope it's a whopper!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Scientists create glow-in-the-dark PIGS after injecting them with jellyfish DNA.
Meanwhile, back at Bubba's Restaurant: "These pork chops look kinda funny to you Bubba?" "I used some special sauce that glow every time you drink the right beer with it."
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
oman beats, stabs man with ceramic squirrel for returning home without beer.#4
Police say the Ceramic Squirrel Killer is still on the loose!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
oman beats, stabs man with ceramic squirrel for returning home without beer.#3
Be sure to add ceramic squirrels to your list of survival items!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
oman beats, stabs man with ceramic squirrel for returning home without beer.#2
Sounds like she had plenty of beer already in her!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Woman beats, stabs man with ceramic squirrel for returning home without beer.
Lesson Learned: Never buy your wife a ceramic squirrel for Christmas.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
POLL: Christie, Clinton tied.
Response the same: "It's three years people!" Both fit to be tied.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Shoppers Stock Up On Shotguns, Rifles Before CA Registry Begins.
Also bullets, spam, crackers, dynamite, gas and chemicals.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Young users see FACEBOOK as 'dead and buried'..
While older people see it as their Aunt Henrietta's new pet goat and Uncle Wallace when he was six, eating a booger.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
NATO: What will be biggest threats in next 10 years?
Answer: That the threat of extinction is within the next five years.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
POLL: Two-Thirds Call 2013 'Bad Year'.
Other third lawyers, politicians and those stoned out of their minds!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Anxiety linked to stroke risk.
Anxiety is also linked to almost every other physical and mental problem. What in the world is going to happen to all of us? I can't stand it anymore!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Twitter's On The Jitters
Twitter stock falls nearly 15% in only a few hours!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
A&E Caves In! Ducks Bringing In Too Many Bucks!
Robertson back on as fans e-mails and telephone calls completely tie up the network for days. "We were about to Quack up!, laughs CEO.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #377
According to Snoops: Close friends of the late Tiny Time say that the high voice came from his taking a whiz on a hornets nest in the dark when he was ten.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #093
According to Snoops: Just before its breakup, the Soviet Union was considering Castro's Cuba's application to join.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #055
According to Snoops: Dijon mustard get's it's name from half drunk patrons who were always asking: "Whar's Da John?"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
Toby Keith Sells Out To Terrorists
At right-winger Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar & Grill" in VA, is a big sign NO GUNS ALLOWED. In VA you can carry a gun into a bar, get drunk, keep it. Now we can't shoot the terrorists said a patron.
written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #998
According to Snoops: It was Thomas Edison who invented the expression, "What's your hurry? Here's your hat!" while trying to get back to his experiments.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2013
