Britney Spears thinks about retiring
Baby Boomers, those under twenty: Who's Britney Spears?
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
U.S. Marines poised to enter S. Sudan
"The wars are long, the peace is frail, the mad men come again!" (Peter, Paul & Mary).
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Parents Stage Famous Movie Scenes Using Their Baby #4
Although some think it showed lack of taste to dress the baby as Norman Bate's mother!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Parents Stage Famous Movie Scenes Using Their Baby #3
Some thought it was silly for the baby to play the part of Rocky's manager having a heart attack!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Parents Stage Famous Movie Scenes Using Their Baby #2
Some viewers upset over the reenactment of "Rosemary's Baby"!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Parents Stage Famous Movie Scenes Using Their Baby
Some viewers upset about the one that had the dad in a gorilla suit, climbing house with baby in hand.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Last-minute insurance shoppers given grace period
In a symbolic move, President Obama signed up for his own plan - the cheaper bronze coverage - over the weekend. "I think I'll use that to cancel mine", says one caller.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Cracker Barrel Sticks With Duck Dynasty After Backlash
"OK! OK! We're putting it all back out so stop the protests! We were wrong!", says CEO.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
No Benghazi Regrets?
Susan Rice: 'I don't have time to think about some false controversy'. Four people are dead. That's not a controversy?
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
White House Special: Obamacare Deadlined
"I'm sorry. That should be: White House Holiday Special: Obamacare deadline extended!"
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Airlines To Issue Colostomy Bags
Airlines are reducing space between seats, they are thinner, maximum recline is lower, galleys gone - all to add rows and profits. Soon toilets will be gone, & colostomy bags issued for long flights.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #744
According to Snoops: Mamie Eisenhower was the person who first coined the phrase, "I need to go see a man about a dog."
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #999
According to Snoops: 75% of American High School Students can not point out South Dakota on a map of the U.S.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #077
According to Snoops: The Rock Group "The Fifth Dimension" suddenly disappeared during the early 80's and have never been seen again!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True facts according to Snoops: #696
According to Snoops: Before the invention of popcorn, most people ate chicken livers while watching sporting events and movies.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Walmart Chief Helps Scientists
Levels of radioactivity in the US are high and scientists have no explanation yet. But Born-Again Christian, P.J. Walton. of Wal-Mart says its God's wrath for low sales at his retail outlet chains.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
We Liberals Have Soft Hearts
Thom Hartmann TV liberal said today that people like him aren't like the hateful birthers who go after Obama. "We just say things like Bush & Cheney are sociopathic war criminals & should be hanged."
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
NRA Defends Gun Ownership For Mentally Ill
Conn. police took an arsenal from a schizophrenic off his meds and who said he would kill and maim. Under the law they had to give the guns back. The NRA backed it saying no limits on gun rights.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
Billionaire Demands Fairness
J.P. Morgan, interviewed aboard his private 747 jet said that 98% of media space is devoted to problems of inequality. "It's not fair, we have feelings too," he said.
"People like me feel left out."
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
Putin loves a Pussy Riot!
Putin has freed Pussy Riot on a Chrissy amnesty and hopes they will return to doing what they do best; pissing on Putins Pals alias Oligarchs, they love a 'golden shower' or 2!
written by unknown
What Would Jesus Buy?
Nothing, since He and his followers gave all that they had to the poor.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
NSA Workers Happy With New Task
NSA workers who trolled games like "Warcraft" and "Second Life" to look for possible terrorists have been re-assigned to spying on porn sites to find the bad guys, "It's more stimulating," said one.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
Scarlett Johansson Drives Men Nuts
Psychologists across the U.S. are treating men for a new mental disorder: They have fallen ln love with computer operating systems voiced by Ms. Johansson.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
National Security Chief Didn't Lie
About his testimony to the Congress Clapper said "I just gave the least untruthful statement I could think of."
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
This Is Too Politically Correct
The State of Iowa licenses blind gun owners.
written by Keith Shirey, 23 December 2013
Iceland's hidden elves delay road projects
They're angry over Santa's forcing them to make all those toys at cheap labor.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Florida man tried trading alligator for beer
Told to leave pub with his friend the alligator and someone would bring him a couple of beers.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Tenn. couple points to neighbor's decorations with 'ditto' sign
Saves us a lot of trouble and a giant electric bill!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Politician smears Arizona as 'racist'
The tweet reveals who the racist is here. According to recent headlines, everyone is a racist to others.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Plummeting temps on tap for much of U.S.
May as well run out now and buy some kegs for football, basketball also on tap.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #709
According to Snoops: The original theme music for "The Waltons" was 'Turkey In The Straw'.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #763
According to Snoops: 90% of all children born before 1960 were called "Wiggle Worm" at one time or another.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #652
According to Snoops: During one of the first annual "Hemingway Look-Alike" contest in Key West, Ernest Hemingway finished third runner-up!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
"Obamacare For Dummies" Book Turned Down
That just doesn't have a good ring to it somehow: President.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
N. Korea purge sparked by mineral disputes: Seoul official
Also, hard spankings his Uncle gave him as a mean little kid.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
GOP Say They Would Not Try to Impeach President
"Do you think we'd rather have Joe Biden in there? How about Harry Reid?", says Boehner.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Obama Looks Down in Hawaii
Obamacare not working, Michelle's Still Looking Mad or Duck Dynasty controversy?
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Oh Obamacare, Oh Obamacare This Season's Song.
Poll shows more people are arguing over the Duck Dynasty than Obamacare, which they are ignoring.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
McConnell: Obamacare Dead in the Water
"Now read through this plan we are offering: The 25,000 page alternative to Obamacare."
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Surveys Find that Most Americans Don't Understand Obamacare
Reid, Pelosi: We need to put out a 20,000 page booklet to explain the simple 20,000 page Obamacare.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Castro issues stern warning to entrepreneurs.
Have a little patience. Communism works. I've only had 55 years to tune it a bit.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
A&E warned Phil Robertson.
Robertson: I take my orders from a Higher Source!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
The next Detroit? Atlantic City and Las Vegas facing catastrophic collapse.
Both taking on odds on whether or not they can stay afloat.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson breaks his silence:
Refuses to change his words or compromise his beliefs!
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
No Blue Pills For Him
Larry King has been married so many times he says that whenever he sees a cake he gets an erection.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile Involved In A Fender Bender
Several eyewitnesses said that the driver was hotdogging it.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
The Contest Was A Flat Draw
Kate Hudson and Keira Knightley once had a contest to see which one had the bigger boobs…they both lost.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Better Not Drop The Microphone or The Soap
Anderson Cooper has confessed that he sings when he's in the shower and he truly believes that he sounds exactly like Judy Garland.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Remember The Alamo
The city of San Antonio has turned down McDonald's request to place a McDonald's Restaurant inside The Alamo.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
But The Barbers Were Legal
A barbershop in Winslow, Arizona was shut down after it was determined that they were using illegal shaving cream smuggled in from Ecuador.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Custer Shouldn't Have Dissed The Guacamole Dip
The Oglala Sioux language has 203 words for the word avocado.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Chew, Chew, Blow, Pop!
Bubble gum was banned in Luxembourg back in the 60s because of the noise.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
The Orangutans Are Going To Be Very Upset
The Bronx Zoo has just announced that it will no longer let the orangutans smoke cigars.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Nuts Again?
Brazil has repaid some of its $87 million loan from the USA in Brazil Nuts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 December 2013
Obama hoping for trouble-free Hawaii vacation already has problem
Allergy with part of native fruit causes swelling of lips inside out. Family says he's OK as they were laughing.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Israeli Officials Demand End To US Spying, Email Tracking.
Seems like we pretty well have our noses stuck up everyone's backside these days.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Electric Therapy Found to Erase Bad Memories.
Wonder if it would help forget that stupid football game today?
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
Police Called After Crowd Waiting For Toys At SALVATION ARMY Turns 'Chaotic'
"We may need regular army to quite this one down", says volunteer.
written by Bureau, 23 December 2013
