Thanksgiving Mayhem
Cops: Son beat father during argument over macaroni and cheese. Grandmother has rear end plugged over gas problems & it wouldn't come out.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Amazon Plans Drone Delivery
"You send anything over the South and they'll get shot down", says Atlanta Police Chief. "What did you get, Herm?" "I done shot me down a cellphone!"
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Mitch McConnell Takes A Call #4
"Hello? Who? Lou Stools? I'll check. Attention! Is there Lou Stools on the floor? That's Lou Stools on the floor of the Senate?"
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Iraq, Afghanistan Getting Back To Normal? #2
Taliban are beating women in the street again as our troops leave Iraq and Afghanistan. Today, Nancy Pelosi suddenly shouted, "Why is George Bush Allowing This??" Then walked slowly away from mike.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Iraq Getting Back To Normal?
Slowly Iraq is getting back to normal, for them. As U.S. troops leave, women are being beaten in the streets. What for? No reason, the Taliban say they are way behind in beating women.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Obamacare to bring cheaper drugs
"By purchasing more medication from Mexico, older people will get a break", says the President. "But exactly what's in the pills, don't blame me because it's not my fault."
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Paraguay Leader Says He's From Uruguay
Think Obamacare is screwed up? Uruguay and Paraguay are claiming that each is in the other's land. After five years of meetings and measurements, apparently the Leader of Uruguay is now in Paraguay.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
They Ate Dad!
Rest of family gets home safely from somewhere in Central America. "Dad threw a rock and hit some Quetzel, Pretsel Bird thing and they went wild. They let us do", says son. But not dad. They ate him."
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Cuba Planning Big Celebration
"Won't be long until Fidel begins his second century", says Cuban General.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Scientist at Cryonics Center in Alaska Lonely
"I'd trade every frozen head in here for a woman!"
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Haiti Still Hurting
"If only these people would let us help", says U.S. Ambassador with the six-inch head.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Putin Meets With Taliban
"Where does the time go?', says Taliban, shaking his head. "It seems like only yesterday we were killing each other by the thousands."
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Nigeria Has Plenty of Oil
You can soon buy it by the bag in most American Quik Marts!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Ghana says Ivory Coast sent agents to kill exiles
Ivory Coast says Ghana Gotta Go if it tries to interfere with their country. Soap on sale through January 1st.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #876
According to Snoops: Robert E. Lee's middle name was Eggfart!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #421
According to Snoops: Not only did Elvis love banana and peanut butter sandwiches. He swooned over Lime Jello & Spam Pie!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Found! First Known Predator To Lure Prey By Mimicking Flowers
The orchid mantis, which resembles a flower, takes on this appearance in order to lure in prey, researchers say. Marvel: Spiderman on the lookout for any 'Orchid Mantis', female villain.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
China Launches Jade Rabbit!
Korean Leader Kim: We launch one, we call our buggy Platinum Pussycat!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
China launches lunar probe carrying 'Jade Rabbit' buggy
Kim Jong of North Korea: Wow! Jade Rabbit great name. What does it do? You get from Acme?
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Sam Champion Leaves ABC News to Join The Weather Channel
"My husband and I want a fresh start", he tells fan.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #492
According to Snoops: Lloyd, Beau and Jeff all hated the movie, "The Bridges of Madison County".
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #567
According to Snoops: Before Porky the Pig became famous, he served in the Army in WWII and worked the mine fields. He never stuttered once.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Obama Surprises Holiday Shoppers on Small Business Saturday
Shows up at "I Love To Play Golf" Store!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Vice President Biden Flies to Asia Amid East China Tea Seasoning
I'm sorry. That should be: Vice President Biden Flies to Asia Amid East China Sea Tension! (On Airplane).
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #771
According to Snoops: The latest remake of "Three Stooges" was roughly based on the Churchill, Roosevelt, Stalin conference in Tehran during WWII.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #821
According to Snoops: Before allowed to ride horses or use them to pull a buggy, Amish once ran to the store on stick horses!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Cyber Monday deals on phones, TVs
Also, silly-looking robot at the door or where the door used to be.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Islamic militants attack Nigerian air force base
Blow up both planes! "We're in for it now", says Military leader.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Harry Reid Answers Telephone
"Yello! Who? Never heard of him. Oh, he's to visit the Vice President today? OK I'll check. 'Is Mike Rotch On the floor of the Senate?" Mike Rotch! You have a call!"
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
The No-Surgery Facelift That Horrifies Surgeons
"Well, they'll horrify you too once you've seen one", says Doctor.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Is the worst over for HealthCare.gov?
Once it dies it'll be completely out of it's misery!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
China labor camps now 'drug detox' centers.
"Might as well do a little work while they're in there detoxing", says Overseer.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Obamacare Enrollments fall 700,000 short of 800,000 goal...
Plus 50,000 have then cancelled policy once someone explains it to them.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Neighbors call cops on 'non-partisan' workers pitching Obamacare door-to-door.
"And, of course, they come right at lunch or dinner time", says one who handed the guy a turkey leg and slammed the door.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Iran Says 'Yes We Can' With New Obama-Like Video.
President: But they promised not to do that. I'm beginning to feel like Rodney Dangerfield.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Cash Donations Stolen from SALVATION ARMY.
Over a dozen bell ringers have had their bell rung!
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Fast Food strikes called in 100 cities
McDonald's and Hardee's agree to slow down, but not they will not be responsible for long lines.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Black Friday Business Buzz - UFC Considering New Scouting Venue
Insiders say that after all of the brawling at Walmart this year executives with UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) are sending talent scouts to Black Friday sales at the stores nationwide in 2014
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 December 2013
Back in business!
The Spoof has reopened its dusty doors and our editor now claims he is Lazarus!
written by unknown
Man Discovers Old Login Information for Myspace In Desk Drawer
"I figure I might logon at Myspace and catch up on those old friends that I never knew to begin with."
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 December 2013
Retiree Explains Why Today's Stars Not "Edgy"
"So little miss Cyrus shakes her ass a bit on stage wearing vinyl booty shorts. Big deal. My generation was fully nude and getting it on in public back in '69!"
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 December 2013
George Osborne Distances Himself From Assertion By Boris That Intelligence Is A factor In Economic Inequality
'It's like saying that the poor are poor because they're stupid,' said the Chancellor. 'If we say that, we'll never get votes from the idiot majority who are in financial hardship.'
written by Swan Morrison, 02 December 2013
Amazon Testing Unmanned Drones To Deliver Goods To Customers
'We may also work with the US Air Force to expand our service in Pakistan,' said an Amazon spokesman. 'A drone could deliver a couple of online orders and then move straight on to bomb the Taliban.'
written by Swan Morrison, 02 December 2013
Man Cited for Tossing $1000 Bills at Mall of America During Choir Performance of "Let it Snow"
"In hindsight I probably should have held onto a few of the bills to cover these court costs," said the man who was just trying to spread holiday cheer.
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 December 2013
What About Quilting Bees
Scientists discourage children with news that there is no Spelling Bee. "They're right up there with 'Writing Spiders'. Of course, many have witnessed Quilting Bees in the old days, so they are real."
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
Reason For Obamacare Delays Solved
"It was the Butterball Turkey Hotline taking up all the calls and causing breakdowns", says Joe Biden, with a straight face.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
William & Kate Baby Birth Quite A Night
Many of the royal peers and guests say that they had to take a day off from work the next day but went back to their working idleness a few days later.
written by Bureau, 02 December 2013
