Disturbed Woman's Paranoid Rant About Tuscon Shooting Becomes Youtube Sensation
Palin plans to follow up with video denying connection to Charlie Sheen's hotel rampage.
written by manbrad, 14 January 2011
Pansy Brokaw Nervous Nelly
Pansy Brokaw: 'I Would Be Nervous Going Into A Bar' In Arizona. He should try one across the border.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Smell Will Tell
How your sense of smell could predict when you're going to die, especially if you breath nerve gas.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Robert Mugabe apologises
President Mugabe of Zimbabwindsor has apologised for not using clean utensils when torturing his subjects.
"I know dees ken cause de infectious". He mused.
written by armfeetandtoe, 14 January 2011
Money For Nothing
Canadian radio station to censor the 1985 Dire Straits "Money for Nothing," after a complaint that the lyrics of the Grammy Award-winning song were derogatory to gay men, getting money to play guitar.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Chinese New Year Screwed Up
Earth's 'wobble' means your zodiac sign may be wrong. Also, Chinese New Year all screwed up. Is it Monkey or Rabbit? What do we put on our checks?
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Hello There, Pilgrim!
100 pilgrims killed in stampede at Indian Tribute to John Wayne festival.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Disease Inherited?
Reagan had Alzheimer's while president, son claims. However, he keeps talking about his grandmother "Miss Lillian".
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Women in Combat
Report: Women should be allowed in combat units. Police say they more than hold their own in family spats.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Took Over Three Hours!
Patient without a heartbeat is brought back to life by machine after THREE hours with 20,000 chest presses. "I saw a light and Mother Teresa walking toward me. She took her time."
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Gay prison rodents love biting prisoners penis's!
I a NY jail a male prisoner was attacked by a gay rodent who jumped out of his matress and started biting the prisoners "dick", luckily he wasn't in the shower at the time?
written by unknown
Breastfeeding Raises Doubts
Breastfeeding study raises doubts over big firm white uh...guidelines.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
The Netherlands Cigar Shortage Has Hit An Alarming Low
Due to the country's extreme cigar shortage, the Netherlands is planning on invading Cuba in late March.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Joan "The Moan" Rivers Is One To Be Talking About Effen Plastic
Joan Rivers says that Heidi Montag has so much plastic in her body that a ship cruise line could use her as a lifeboat.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Tiger Woods Is Quitting The USA and Moving To Sweden
Tigers Woods has decided to move to Sweden and play professional golf over there. When asked why, he just grinned and said for no particular reason. [Lets see - Sweden equals blondes?]
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Tea Party Membership Drive Was A Complete Success (Hmmmmm)
The Tea Bag Party has just had a successful membership drive. But the membership drive director was embarrassed when it was learned that six of the new members are also registered Al Qaeda members.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Rumor That Ann Coulter Named Her House 'Casa Giddy Up' Has Not Yet Been Refuted
Recently collected DNA evidence proves conclusively that GOP maven Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter has never, ever kissed a horse.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Sledding Banned
Middle School bans sledding down dangerous hill. "Should be in their homes shooting and raping on internet games", say officials.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
California May Approve Fat Tax
California may turn to porker to solve state budget woes. New overweight to be taxed by the pound!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Obama Plans Billiob Dollar Campaign
Obama Plans Billion-dollar reelection campaign. "In another 4 years and 50 trillion in debt, I should be able to finish the job."
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
"But We Need the Money!"
Mexican gunman fires across border toward U.S. highway workers. It's like living in South Korea", states one worker.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Knee-Deep in the Big Muddy
Rising Gasoline Prices Put Consumers in Sour Mood. Saudis say 'Deal with it!" while President Obama discourages digging our own oil!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Silvio Berlusconi under investigation for having sex with an underage hooker
The 17 year old 'Ruby, Stealer of Hearts' got into an erotic game called bunga bunga.Berlusconi claims, "The age of La Dolce Vita is 14 in Italy"
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Homeless man with the deep refined voice, is a hoax
NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers were going to hire, Ted Williams but found out 'Ted' is a cross-dresser. Susan Boyle said, she's always wanted to be a black man announcing basketball games.
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Blair has designs on motherhood
Selma Blair and boyfriend Jason Bleick are expecting their first child
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
JetBlue Flight Grounded after Pilot loses his TSA-issued firearm
The pilot lost it after going through security. According to TSA, the pilot claimed during the pat down, "That isn't a gun in my pocket, I'm just happy to see you"
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Spud Champ
Spud-only eater gets Potato Man of Year award...and he's not even Irish!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Scientists Count Grains of Sand
To confirm -- after counting stars -- that there are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on Earth.
written by Hawking's Chair, 14 January 2011
Chinese President To Receive Honorary Doctorate During U.S. Visit
There's your Dr. Hu.
written by Hawking's Chair, 14 January 2011
"Crosshairs" Sarah Is Starting To Lose Her Alaskan Cool
Sarah Palin confided to nine-year-old talkative daughter Piper that if the media doesn't stop calling her "Crosshairs" Sarah she may just up and move across the Bering Sea to Russia.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Google May Soon Be A Thing Of The Past
Google has announced that it plans to change its name to the much more appropriate and politically correct Giggle.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
China Wants To Buy Wikileaks And Move It To Hong Kong
An investment firm from Hong Kong, China wants to purchase Wikileaks and rename it Wikireaks.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Absolute Truth About That Infamous Yankee Doodle Song
The song lyrics 'Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony, stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni' are false. What Yankee Doodle actually called it was, vermicelli.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Now Hear This!
Martha Stewart gets stitches after dog strikes lip after raising leg on her right ear.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Are Spiderman Movies Cursed?
Delayed again, 'Spider-Man' may set another record. Even the first had to be delayed after 911 as it showed the Twin Towers!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Giant French Cock
BBC female newsreader talking about 4th plinth in Trafalgar square discusses "giant French Cock"and burst out laughing :-))
written by Mikethelad, 14 January 2011
The French Think That They Pretty Much Invented Everything
The term au revoir, which is French for hello or goodbye was not really invented by the French. The French actually stole that phase from the Kiowa Indians of Kansas.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Hey Franz Is That A lobster? Achoo
The German word gesundheit, which means good health and spoken after someone sneezes didn't come from Germany. It originated in Louisiana and was named after a neutered lobster.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
"Skins" Entertaining Drama?
'Skins': A raw, entertaining drama about awkward teenagers, football team.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Liechtenstein Is At The Point Where It's Already Standing Room Only
The tiny European country of Liechtenstein is so small that it has outlawed the use of Viagra.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Country Formerly Known As Upper Shabutu?
The United Nations is sending a group of munitions inspectors to the little African country of Upper Shabutu because of rumors that it has developed an Atomic Bomb.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
FDA Lowers Doses
FDA orders lower doses in prescription killers. "It was a bad idea to begin with", says one company CEO.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
The Word Number Two By Any Other Name Smells Just As Bad!
Many people believe that the word 'two' came from the French word deux. But truth be told it actually came from the buffalo droppings that the buffalo hunters called number 2.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
When Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin Finds Out Who Is Moving To Wasilla, Alaska She Is Going To You-Know-What
The Taliban has decided to open up a branch office in Wasilla, Alaska.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
JFK's New Online Library
JFK library opens 1st online presidential archive including Marilyn Monroe's dress blowing up while standing over vent.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Chinese Getting the Lead Out!
Stocks muted amid weak US jobs, Chinese tightening screws as consumer advocates urge population to avoid cheaply made Chinese products.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Hasbro Sales Weak
Hasbro says 4Q sales were weak..may change name to "Hasbroke" or "Hasbeen".
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Chairs in Wrong Position
Gates: NKorea must show good faith for new talks by not harping on the size of the chairs and table that they first argued over in 1956.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Pope John Paul to be beatified May 1!
Pope John Paul to be beatified May 1, during halftime at Russian's annual military parade.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
White Elephant?
F-35 looking more like white elephant. "I tried to tell them that a plane doesn't have big ears", says one builder.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive! #2
34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive! "We had almost given up until Glob got us singing "Staying Alive" by the BeeGees", states one.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Italy's Berlusconi in Prostitution Probe
Italy's Berlusconi in prostitution probe! This comes as a major surprise to...well, there's bound to be a few out there somewhere.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Students OK!
Students OK after confusing rat poison for candy. Apparently Meth intake had already destroyed the body parts that the poison would have threatened.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Giant Blue Rooster #2
Rocking horse and rooster set for Trafalgar Square. Drunks object. Say they won't be able to tell if they have "had enough".
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Giant Blue Rooster in London
LONDON - A giant blue rooster and a boy on a rocking horse will stand alongside a statue of military hero Adm. Horatio Nelson in London's Trafalgar Square. Next year, Harry Potter?
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Chinese Farmer Sentence to Life!
Chinese farmer gets life for evading highway tolls. Government to take over farm. Same for fellow farmers located where city planned.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
JPMorgan Chase's Profits Jump
JPMorgan Chase's profit jumps 47 percent in 4Q. Say they still wouldn't mind a small cash stimulant package.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Wobble Changes Future?
Earth's 'wobble' means your zodiac sign may be wrong. "The stars are in same formation but at different time of the year", says expert.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
F-35 A White Elephant?
F-35 looking more like white elephant...except for pointy head, wings!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive!
34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive! Big celebration by wives, friends & children.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Relying on High Tech Too Much?
Upgrade Your Life: Simple old-fashioned solutions to high-tech problems by using something you already have, called a brain.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Obama Ratings Still Down
Despite recent victories, political rally in Arizona, new poll reveals challenges ahead for Obama
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
GOP Not Scared Off!
Obamacare repeal rescheduled; GOP not scared off by left-wing attacks. "Single wing will only fly in circles", says McConnell.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
Gates Says China Military-Civil Disconnect a Concern
Defense Secretary Robert Gates voiced concerned that Pres. Hu Jintao was unaware of his military's stealth fighter tests. "I had to remind him that, Hu da man," said Gates.
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Chinese Stealth Fighter brought down
The new Chinese stealth fighter has crashed after a collision with Puff the Magic Dragon. Puff's home of Honah Lee is thought to be off the coast of Taiwan, of which he is a staunch supporter.
written by Big Bunny News, 14 January 2011
Prophet ***** ****** ***** *** *****
Islam's central figure, the Prophet ******** was *** and never ******* his **** without ****, according to a new book "Insulting the Prophet: Bring Chips When You Visit" by Giles Brandreth
written by JP Johnston, 14 January 2011
Family of Hall of Famer, Ted Williams, wants DNA of homeless man
Red Sox slugger Williams' head was suspended in liquid nitrogen when he died. "This 'homeless man' with the fine voice looks eerily like our Ted," said a family member.
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Martha Stewart gets split lip from dog
Stewart received a nine inch stitch to her lip, after a head butt with her bulldog, Francesca. The hospital is holding the dog overnight to make sure it didn't get rabies.
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
Justin Bieber Hospitalized
Sixteen year old Bieber was treated for puberty and released 30 minutes later.
written by JAB, 14 January 2011
The Farmer Has No Idea What The "Baby" Is Called
A dairy farmer in Wisconsin accidentally crossed a milk cow with an egg laying hen. He has no earthly idea what it is, but he did say that it gives damn good egg nog.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
China Is Having To Import Fortune Cookies
China has said that due to the fortune cookie shortage it will be importing fortune cookies from Wing Wangs Fortune Cookie Shop in San Francisco's Chinatown.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Florida Volcano Ain't Gonna Do A Damn Thing Now
The newly discovered volcano in Florida, Mt. St. Citrus, has been neutered. So now instead of lava it has lemonade.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Roman Polanski Says He Is Sorry And Wants To Move On
Roman Polanski says he is sorry for everything he did in the past. He adds that he would love to date Piper Palin and talk about arithmetic, Barbie Dolls, and The Wizards of Waverly Place.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
The Real Origins of The Black Coffee Known As Espresso
The word Espresso which signifies black coffee and is credited with having been invented in Italy was actually invented in the African country of Lower Zamgola, which makes more sense.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Spoof Under Legal Threat
Notorious defamation lawyers Schillings of London have warned Spoof.com that if they do not show Ms Rowling and their other clients respect they will respectfully ruin them, as they've done to others.
written by Auntie Matter, 14 January 2011
NYC Cellphones a Necessity
New Yorkers say they should not be condemned for carrying around their cellphones all the time. Some buried in the recent snows say that's the only way the police could find them & pull them out.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2011
