16 Members of "Living Chessboard Theater" Dead in Apparent Mass Suicide
Members left collective suicide note which recorded their agony with the declaration, "We were just pawns".
written by Agatha Bloom, 05 August 2009
David Carradine Christmas Ornament Pulled From Shelves...
...not only is it creepy to hang it from the tree, but the blinking penis is a little too much.
written by Mr. Staypuf, 05 August 2009
Miley Cyrus Very Sick?
Miley Cyrus might not perform tonight in her Hannah Montana concert tour as she said she was "very sick" because of the Selena Gomez-scandal.
written by unknown
Wet T-Shirt Contest Called off!!
A wet T-shirt contest due to be held at Chipping Sodbury old folks home was called off today due to lack of support.
written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
Gore's Behind Really Big!
Al Gore finally catches up on cancelling all his carbon footprints but still way behind in his carbon assprints!
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Michael Phelps Denies Relationship With Whores
Michael Phelps has clearly stated this morning that he "would never date whores"... Good to know.
written by unknown
Looks Like Same Artist
Person who created Obama Joker poster with "Socialism" under it apparently the same one who now has out Alfred E. Newman Tiger Woods poster with "What Me Fart?".
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Most Americans, Brits Optimistic
A new poll shows that most Americans, British are optimistic about "What little future we have left."
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Last HPHSTFGMC Member Dies
The last member of the Haters Of President Harry S. Truman For Firing General MacArthur Club dead at 89.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
VP Office Now Safe
Vice President's office that was cleared out yesterday because of Anthrax powder discovered in Joe Biden's desk, says it's OK to return. Powder was only cocaine.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
NASA Reports Break In
NASA headquarters has admitted that during Sunday night while those occupying the space station, someone broke in and stole a the recycled piss machine.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Slick Willie To The Rescue
Ex-president Bill Clinton greased the way for the release of 2 female American journalists held by North Korea. When they discovered how "hard" it was going to be flying back, both begged to return.
written by TomFoolery, 05 August 2009
Dad & Daughter
Ryan O'Neil has several pics of himself with daughter Tatum to make sure he doesn't try to hit on her again at the next funeral
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Signal From Space Arrives!
Scientists excited about finally getting a signal from outer space, but all it said was, "Mars Rover, Go Home! Home, Home Home Home Home!"
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Stag Parties Not Welcome
British stag parties not welcome, says Riga mayor after catching drunks urinating in the street, on two passed out chums in gutter.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
First High-Flying Pic
First picture of high-flying City banker who threw himself in front of express train show him flapping away over Big Ben.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Heavy Drinking Apparently Bad
British Doctors determine that heavy drinking 'can double the risk of cancer, vision'!
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Clinton Denies Apology
Hillary Clinton denies husband Bill apologised to Kim Jong-Il to secure release of jailed U.S. journalists from North Korea. "He only had to sing, 'I'm A Little Teapot'Song!"
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Fighting Ears And Nose
Love rival's ear torn off in bedroom fight with BBC historian as historian's nose found in a book.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Top Judge Faces Sack
Top judge faces sack for speaking out about immigrants abusing benefits system, and get this: The VERY SAME SACK immigrants used to sneak into country! Believe it or not!
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Cold Case Solved
Stone Age cold case solved as human's spear found to kill Neanderthal man. "Glad we can finally take this one off our books", says police chief.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Flu Worker Fired After Catching Flu
Swine flu call centre worker sacked, after catching swine flu.
"She set a piss-poor example for others", states boss.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Halifax Mortgage Lender Puzzled
House prices are now rising, according to the latest survey from the Halifax mortgage lender. But even after this, there are still no buyers.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Loan Sharp Jailed
A loan shark who made almost £3m by charging clients up to 2,437% interest has been jailed for five years, should he last that long, with his old customers.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Anthem Insults Muslims
An anthem sung by fans of the German football club FC Schalke 04 has drawn protests from Muslims because of its reference to the Prophet Muhammad. Irish limerick not all that well received either.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Iran's President's Oath
Defiant Iran president takes oath. "I want every one of those protesters jailed and shot."
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
"Obama" Now In Slang Dictionary
Obama is an entry in the latest slang dictionary: "Tiger Woods cut an "Obama" at the Buick Open over the weekend."
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
#2's Wife #3 Killed
Officials: Number three wife of Pakistani Taliban leader # 3 killed in northern Pakistan.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Tea For Two
Doctors baffled by Indian village of over 200 sets of twins. Say that tea could be the reason for the twos.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Abdul Leaving Idol Apparently With Sad Heart
Paula Abdul says she's quitting 'Idol' with a sad heart. "I'm quitting Idol with a sad heart", she announces.
written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Scots claim have 'invented' Chicken Tikka Masala
Not satisfied with claims that the English were the ones who invented haggis, they are now picking a fight with the Indians by claiming that they invented Chicken Tikka Masala.
written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
Orangutans Blow Kisses to Ward off Predators
Naturalists have discovered that orangutans blow kisses to ward off predators. In the same way, Scotsman like Gordon Ramsay will ward off predators with a 'Glasgow kiss'.
written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
God Orders Contents "Shaken, Not Stirred"
Continental Airlines flight 128 happy to oblige.
written by Agatha Bloom, 05 August 2009
