Three Chairs For The President
Old soldier at Memphis Nursing Home remembers President Franklin D. Roosevelt during WWII. "He wasn't one to allow anybody to push him around."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Fort Knox Blast
New recruit at Fort Knox, Kentucky accidentally sets off missile that plows into nation's gold reserves as pyrite covers everything.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Botox Stock Up
Company that makes Botox stock up 10% the first half of this year making them very happy, but you couldn't tell it by their faces.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
US Ashville Jack accuses fellow Spoofer, Jaggedone of not being funny!
Respected Ashville Jack, funnier than Eddie Murphy, accuses Jaggedone of not writing a funny Spoof about a "DEAD KENNEDY" Reply from Jagged to Ashville, IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE FUNNY!!!
written by unknown
Lama In Taiwan
The Dalai Lama will apparently be wecomed in Taiwan next week. Already, China is trying to think of a non-violent way to have him skinned alive.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Carter Has Worlds With Gore
Al Gore and Jimmy Carter having words at recent democrat gathering. "I'm tired of hearing about global warming, you one-trick pony", stated Carter. "You're just sweating because you're fat!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
The Nutty Squirrrels
Mayor Bloomberg says that the city needs to plant more trees around the city, especially in Central Park. Park people are estimating 50 squirrels per tree at present. and they're going nuts!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Hillary Admits Comments
Hillary Clinton admits that she stated once that some forms of torture are acceptable. "But only because he comes dragging his ass in at 5 O'Clock in the morning!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
"Just Let Me Think, Hon!"
Tipper Gore says she believes her husband Al has hurt himself. She said he fell through the floor to the ground under the house two days ago.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Ben Bernanke Imposter
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has his identity stolen. "That explains his answer about the Dow", stated President Obama. "He said he hadn't watched Tony on that Beaver show for years."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
McCain, King Warn Obama
John McCain and Larry King warn President Obama that people are becoming stirred up over this trillion dollar debt thing. "It's the same sort of thing we saw happen in the American Revolution."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Who Will Be #3
With the elimination of Wacko Jacko and Well-Bred Ted over the past few months, Amy Winehouse says she's not leaving home until the third weirdo croaks.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
You're Outa Here!
A Fantasy Baseball team owner has been fined and thrown out of the league for testing positive for steroid use.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Helps Me To Concentrate
Fed Chairman, Bernanke, questioned by panel about roulette wheel at home with different interest rates on it.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
France Surrenders
France surrenders to U.S. mob out protesting everywhere against President Obama's socialized medicine plan.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Couple Rather Rude
Embarrassed couple walk out in the middle of the movie after couple immediately behind them begin having sex, even if it was their home entertainment center.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Detroit Wheeling & Dealing
After losing General Motors to the government this year, Detroit citizens are beginning to wonder how they can unload the Detroit Lions.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Old Dick's Back!
There was a collective sigh this week by all TheSpoof writers this week as former Vice President Dick Cheney was back in the news.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Louisa May Alcott?
In a surprise Poll result, women 20-40 say they prefer being called a "Bitch" than either "Broad" or "Chick". Finishing last of all was "The Little Woman". "Do I look like Louisa May Alcott to you?"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Hillary Reports Progress
After meeting with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in Washington DC this week, Israeli leader Netanyahu has agreed to hand over the TV remote.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Think Tank Solves Mystery
Study links the habit of ironing your socks and underwear, placing cans on the pantry shelf in alphabetical order to late night visits to Starbucks.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Man kills neighbour's dog with hoe
Gaslight Sally, neighbourhood ho says Oops - misheard you!
written by Blazing Saddle, 28 August 2009
ObamaCare will require irradiation of all newborns
In a move designed to reduce long term Medicare costs, ObamaCare will mandate the irradiation of all newborns in order to extend their shelf life.
written by anchochilly, 28 August 2009
Traces Of Cocaine
FBI reports that 90 percent of all stimulus packages that have been sent out have traces, packets of cocaine in them.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Those UFO Probes Again
After six months of being probed by aliens in a UFO, Arkansas couple discover hundred of colored light, shiny space suit in neighbor's garage.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Suicidal Cows
Police baffled as dozens of 'suicidal' cows throw themselves off cliff in the Alps. "Most likely it was the continued yodeling", says one officer. "Feel like doing it myself sometimes."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Bum Says He's Not Getting His Fifth Of Whiskey
Brown facing backbench revolt over plans to slash benefits for the poorest by up to a fifth. "How else can MP's dodge taxes, go on expensive trips?"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Those French Again
Teacher who French-kissed pupil, 14, escapes jail but is told he will never teach again after having tongue removed.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Another Altamont?
Climate change activists ban police from camp over fears of violence. Instead, they hire Hell' Angels for security.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
U.S. Exodus
U.S. exodus from London as rising taxes and spiraling living costs force American bankers to go home, probably to find the same crap beginning to happen there.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Bron Had Palms Oiled
Gordon Brown under pressure over Lockerbie bomber after Gaddafi son reveals prisoner swap deal WAS linked to oil. But so has every other deal between nations over past 30 years.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
House Prices Rise
House prices in England and Wales rose by 1.7% in July compared with June - the biggest monthly leap in value since July 2004, the Land Registry said. Still, no ones buying them.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Nano, Nanu
'Nano-needle' operates on cell according to world's leading scientists, Robin Williams.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Madonna Defends Gypsies
Madonna has said she was "compelled" to comment on the discrimination of Romany Gypsies while on stage in Romania, despite being booed by fans, missing earrings, bracelet, watch, shoes and wigs.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Kennedy In Iraq
Top Shia leader's body flown to Washington, DC. Late Senator Kennedy's body flown to Iraq, in still another airline's screw-up.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Black Eyed Peas Boycotted
No Muslims at Black Eyed Peas concert. Performers say they don't miss all the firing of weapons into the air as sign of approval.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Tarmac Delay Tactics
Surviving the dreaded tarmac delay, adult diaper stores now in almost every airport in the U.S.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Vick Still Facing Problems
Michael Vick leaving football practice wearing dogskin coat infuriates some Philly fans.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Bipartisan Dealing, Drinking
Kennedy embodied bygone era of bipartisan dealing, drinking, looking for babes.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Kennedy's Rodney Dangerfield Situation
Public gets 2nd chance to pay respects to Kennedy, since so few turned out the first time.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Another Tax Hike! Hike!
Californians face another tax hike. This time it's on wearing high heels, elevator shoes, football quarterbacks wanting ball to be snapped.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Flip The Switch, Babe
Get Ready for Gruesome Cigarette Warnings Say Officials. Also, organ thefts won't be pleasant to watch either.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Nixon Dug Deep
Nixon dug deep for dirt on Ted Kennedy according to paper, where he should have looked into the water.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Man biter gets ahead of himself
Nigel Fertaweter has become the first man to bite his own head off. He achieved the feat after accidentally discovering a rarely used yogic position. His insurance company have refused to pay out.
written by whatinthe world, 28 August 2009
Maine now wants to be the "main" state.
The US state of Maine has announced it is breaking away from the Union and forming a independent nation state. People are sick of being the twenty third rated state instead of being the "main" state.
written by whatinthe world, 28 August 2009
Moon Rock, Petrified Wood
Embarrassment as 'moon rock' in museum turns out to be just a piece of petrified wood. "I wonder how a piece of petrified wood made it's way to the moon", asked curator.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
A Watery Grave
Found: The ball and chain that may have condemned a 17th century prisoner to a watery grave in the Thames. Was Ball & Chain his wife?
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
US Women Going Topless in the Workplace
More thought needs to go into the idea of topless women in the workplace! For example, dentists, welders, building construction, machine tool operations and truck driving may cause accidents.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2009
Turnsta Discovered
The malady that affects Democratic far left wing politicians is a condition known as "Turnsta!" Everything these loons touch "Turnsta" s**t and costs billions of taxpayer dollars!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2009
New Orleans Tourists Warned
New Orleans warns tourists that if they're out late at night and see a guy coming down the street wearing a toe tag, to get their asses back inside somewhere as soon as possible.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Probably A Good Cause
Kansas City woman completely forgets why she is wearing "Awareness Bracelet" on her wrist.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
Just Her Luck
Milwaukee woman finally gets to meet her dreamboat neighbor she has worshiped from afar, at emergency room after her commode exploded at work.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
IT's Cooler Anyway
The "touch of fall" is already in the air say New York City subway riders, or it could just be the old men trying to warm their hands on your ass.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
The old Carrot Stick Ploy
President Barack Obama admits that Universal Health Care Plan could be just something on a sting on a stick placed before my eyes by Rahm.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2009
