Fidel Speaks English, Well Three Words.
Fidel Castro well enough for three hour English speech in Cuba yesterday, consisting of "Viva Revolution!" 6,000 times. Near the end it began to sound more like "Viagra Bring the Lotion".
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Cheney Upset With Bush
Former VP Dick Cheney says that George Bush went against his requests in the last two years of his Presidency. "Plus I had a heart attack in his office and he gave me the Heimlich maneuver."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
The Spoof Is Most Hated Website
For the second time in a row, The Spoof was ranked Most Hated Website Of All-Time beating contenders like Perez Hilton and CNN.
written by unknown
TheySimply Vanished
Human Rights Watch Report: Pentagon admits that it has somehow misplaced $1.5 Billion in new land mines.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Embarrassing For Everyone
GOP House Members propose "zero tolerance" legislation for leaks after the release of all those photos of the Beer Conference.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Also, First Pie In Face
The United States Senate's first food fight ever blamed on Al Franken.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
And These Guys Will Bring Healthcare
The U.S. Postal Service has just entered "The Twilight Zone." as they mistakenly place Rod STEWART on one hundred thousand first class stamps.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Avoiding Those Shopping Traps
6 common shopping traps and how to avoid them: #1. You're cut off at both ends of the aisle by two people pretending to be blind.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Mechanics Suffer From Traded Clunkers
Neighborhood mechanics are worried the "cash for clunkers" program will cut into their business. "Just give these new ones a year to 18 months say dealers."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
People Do Remember
Eunice Shriver was remembered at public wake Thursday afternoon as Eunice Kennedy Shriver.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Doc On "OCD"
Some obsessions, compulsions not part of OCD say docs. "You could just be nuts!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Here I Am
Old Stoner brought before the judge at trial in Detroit for possession of drugs, pleads "Being".
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Trying To Remember Woodstock
Through hazy memories, Woodstock still captivates. "It was hard to see through the rain, the mist and the heavy smoke", states one who thinks he was probably there.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
We Won't Know It's Coming!
Without new funding, NASA will not meet its goal of tracking deadly asteroids, according to a report today from the National Academy of Sciences. "Another billion & at least we'd know what hit us!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Healthcare Town Halls Continue
Health care town halls will press on, could get heated, as people arrive with extra shoes.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
PCD No More!
The Pussycat Dolls broke up this afternoon... Sad! We'll tell you more soon.
written by unknown
Quade Dead At 71
Character actor John Quade dies at 71. "That John Quade", say friends, "What a character."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Mimes A Favorite With The Deaf, Flop With The Blind
A survey shows 98% of the deaf enjoy pantomimes while less than 1% of the blind do. "It's a puzzle," said mime/rapper Shhh Boy. I always have a stage sign explaining my moves, but they don't get it."
written by tlmedia, 13 August 2009
Pit Bull Association Donates First Seeing Eye Dog
The recipient,Donna Foonman of Plasticville,Iowa was thrilled to get "Fang" saying "He's so playful. I don't mind that he chewed off my fight arm because I'm left handed and he loves playing with it."
written by tlmedia, 13 August 2009
Jewel Heist
Britain's largest Jewellery heist was perpetrated just hours after Ronnie Biggs, perpetrator of Britain's largest mail robbery, was released from jail. Coincidence? Probably.
written by IainB, 13 August 2009
Hawaii Is Atlantis?
Polish scientist claims that the Lost Continent of Atlantis is Hawaii. When told that Hawaii was in the Pacific, replies, "That's how it became lost."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Spliff-a-day cure for stiff joints
Smoking just one joint a day stops the spread of osteoporosis, rheumatism, arthritis, dementia, alzheimers, and...other incurable stuff, man...
written by queen mudder, 13 August 2009
New Poll Results Out!
Latest Poll says 90% of the population say they are sick and tired of being called about their opinions, especially during meals.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Seniors Want "Morning After Pill"
US seniors and others ask FDA for approval of special "Morning After" election pill to deal with electing another Obama.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Owes Life To Biggles
Pilot owes his life to Biggles after crashing plane into a tree, then walking away. "Suddenly, he was right there in the cockpit, grinning at me."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Too Many Young Offenders Jailed
Critics say 'Too many' young offenders jailed. "In jail, they'll just learn new and better ways of killing people."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Stargazers: Best Show Ever!
Skygazers have observed a dazzling sky show, as the annual Perseid meteor shower reached its peak and "The Blue ETs" UFO's do fancy flying formations.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Hurricanes In Atlantic Increase
Hurricanes in the Atlantic are more frequent than at any time in the last 1,000 years, according to research just published in the journal Nature by long time author, Methuselah.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Just Can't Get Along
France and Germany exit recession. Now they're fighting over which country actually exited it first.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Thought It Was A Big Room
Nude drunk loses his way in hotel. Found taking a bath in the lobby's large fountain.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Emmys Presented Live
TV Academy: All Emmys to be presented live. Plus, to entice viewers, promise that there might be a "woman in bathroom stall" shot.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Number Of Foreclosures Jump
Foreclosures rise 7 percent in July from June. This is a good thing according to Democrat leaders in congress. "Remember, it must be if we say so."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Tallest Dog Dies
California dog dubbed tallest in world has died with "Abraham Lincoln's Disease".
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Dr. E Meets Dr. K
Ezekiel Emanuel, Obama's 'Deadly Doctor,' Strikes Back! But first, holds long consultation with Dr. Kevorkian.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Chocolate Cuts Death Rate
Chocolate 'cuts death rate' in heart attack survivors. Add 2 glasses of wine a day and you're all set.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
Cash Only Thing That's Green
Cash For Clunkers not going as expected as most trade clunkers for vans, Big SUV's and Hummers.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2009
1947 UFO Crash Survivors
Survivors of the UFO crash in NM were taken to SF CA. The aliens, a species called the "loons" are from the far left of our Galaxy. A descendant ET is the Speaker of the US House of Representatives.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 August 2009
