Nursing Home Swapping Outrage!
Old couples swapping at the nursing home in Dallas suburb not true, they say. "Stupid young whippersnapper news punk. We told him our biggest thrill is swapping 'teeth'!"
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Pop Pops A Pill & Out It Pops!
According to a new study, people are sexually active well into their 80s, although most report that it's their younger mates that do the "active" part.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
"Bled To Death? Gee, That's Too Bad"
Congressmen holding town hall meetings everywhere, have seen disruption by angry protesters who are against Obama's health plan. Obama warns protesters, "You'll be last one served at the hospitals."
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Obama Clears That Up
President Obama says he would never support a healthcare plan where the government gets to decide to "pull the plug on grandma." "We just won't hook grandma up in the first place."
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Hillary Apologizes, Then Puts Foot In Mouth
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton apologises to young lady she yelled at when she asked her about Bill. "From now on I'm giving them Monica's telephone number. I AM tired, not supposed to have that."
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Hilary Duff Is Not Fat
Hilary Duff is not fat and critics are her to claim that.
written by unknown
Obama: Healthcare "Looking Up!"
Obama to West Coast audience: New healthcare proposals are looking up. Many of our speakers have been knocked flat on his ass, lately.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Do It Yourself DNA Tests
£30 DNA testing kits to go on sale over the counter to settle paternity disputes without lawyers, quickly being bought up by lawyers.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Wasps Invade Britain
Wasps sting mother and two-year-old son 55 (Ow!)..56 times as swarms continue to invade Britain.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Balding Man Too Young For PG Movie
A balding 28-year-old bank manager was stunned when he was told by a zealous supermarket cashier he looked too young to buy a PG-rated film. "He looked young to me", stated 90-year-old clerk.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Big Dipper Wreck
Dozens injured in rollercoaster crash as Blackpool's Big Dipper cars collide. Senior citizens on "The Big Diaper" said to be OK.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Proud Middle Class
Too proud middle classes failing to claim their benefits as unemployment hits 14-year high of 2.4million. "You can give them to us", say poor.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Obama Accuses Critics
US President Barack Obama has accused some opponents of his healthcare reform proposals of trying to "scare the heck" out of people by telling them the truth.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Salmom Return To Paris
Wild salmon are returning to the French capital for the first time in almost a century, scientists say. Salmon, which left Paris after World War I, say all is forgiven.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Jackson Police Raid!
Pharmacy raided by Jackson police! Until the death of the pop star, no one even knew he had his own police.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Ordered Killing To Raise TV Ratings
Police have accused a TV presenter in Brazil of being involved in organised drug trafficking and ordering killings to get rid of rivals and boost ratings. His arrest on air brings best ratings ever.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Russia Reenforcing Military Bases
Russia is to spend almost $500m (£300m) next year reinforcing its military bases in Georgia's breakaway region of Abkhazia, parts of Poland, East Berlin, the prime minister says.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Eight Cities Selected, Good Luck!
8 cities in US line up for swine flu vaccine test. You "WILL" volunteer says Obama Army chief.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Ice Melts In Summer Heat
Vast expanses of Arctic ice melt in summer heat. Experts predict they will freeze again in what is known as "Winter".
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Go West Young Joker
Obama looks West, to the Web in health care fight. Web answers with pictures of Obama/Joker!
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Never Mention Bill To Hillary
State Department struggled today to explain Sec. of State Hillary Clinton's face-off with Congolese student. Say outburst was sparked with the mention of her husband's name, enough to drive her nuts.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Feds Leave Rates Low
Fed likely to leave rates at lows to aid recovery, once the second great depression finally over.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
"I'll Wipe That Silly Grin Off Your Face!"
Mona Lisa smiles on after Russian teacup attack. Will next attack be coffee grinder or will it be by shoes?
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
Militia Groups Forming
Officials see rise in militia groups across U.S. "The South is ready to do our part and rise again", states leader.
written by Bureau, 12 August 2009
US Official Gropes to Explain Clinton's Outburst
Secretary of State Hilary Clinton's outburst at an Asian Question and answer session is explained.It seems that She was being groped by an US official at the time.
written by Adam Click, 12 August 2009
More Far Left Pelosi News
House Speaker Pelosi and House Majority Leader Hoyer declare that Americans who play Chinese checkers, Soccer (British Football) or eat at foreign food restaurants are "unpatriotic."
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
Pelosi has Protesters Arrested
Speaker Pelosi had Cindy Sheean, Code Pink and ACORN members arrested as being unpatriotic. The complaint was filed by Majority Leader Hoyer who said "sauce for the Goose is sauce for the gander."
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
NBC TV Ratings in the Toilet
NBC buys complete stock of toilet seats from Home Depot and Lowes Home Centers to give to TV viewers. NBC entertainment management recommends the seats be used while viewing NBC TV programs.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
Congratulations to GMC
Congratulations GMC on your new electric car, the Volt. Watch out for the whining environmental cry babies "batteries are toxic and can't be recycled". Batteries have been recycled for over 100 years!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
Speaker Pelosi is a Hypocrite
Anti-Abortionists, war protesters and even terrorists have rights! But, when ordinary Americans disagree with the US House leadership about Health Care Reform these taxpayers are deemed "unpatriotic".
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
Who's Unpatriotic Nancy?
Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Hoyer call American citizens who vocally disagree with the Health Care Reform proposals unpatriotic. Sounds like a First Amendment Right to me, "freedom of speech!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2009
