The Democrats Rule!
Democrats now running the Senate, House and the White House beginning to give Democrat John Kerry the big head!
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
US Students History Illiterate.
Study shows 50% of American students can't tell you who we fought in WWII, or even when Lincoln crossed the Potomac to get at Santa Ana, I bet!
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Abbas, Hamas Offer Deal
Abbas, Hamas promise Israel that they will put their weapons way up in the cabinets over the refrigerator where you can hardly reach them.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Kind Of An Adventure
Dopey Dutch pair set off Down Under and end up in Sydney... Canada. This happened to us before in Paris, Kentucky."
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Live Football, Toilet Shot
BBC football show kicks off season with embarrassing glitch as highlights cut to shot of woman in a toilet cubicle, man drilling peephole with old auger.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Sound Off Like You Got A Pair, Missy!
Soldier wins £330,000 pay out from MoD after losing hearing in training drill. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Brits Lazy, Americans Obese
A third of Britons are so lazy that they wouldn't run to catch a bus, it is claimed. While one third of Americans the size of a bus.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Just Desserts
Financial adviser jailed after stealing £220,000 from elderly to buy wife breast implants found on jail floor with lipstick, earrings. Police admit they didn't know 2 other inmates were grandchildren.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Big Brother Here
Revealed: Big Brother Britain has more CCTV cameras around than China, the paparazzi.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Professional Beggers
'Professional' beggars earning up to £200 a night to supplement their day job, drinking.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Talking During Brain Surgery
Second patient talks aloud to surgeons during brain surgery. "That was when Laura and I got a sitter for the girls & went down to Houston and she went shopping and I sneaked off to the liquor store."
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Pirates Release 16
Somali pirates free sixteen sailors seized some four months ago, every one of them now crazy as a shithouse rat.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Oil Companies Order In Advance
Oil companies place order for first 1,000,000 models of Nissan's new 2011 electric Leaf vehicles to come off the assembly line.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Where's The Change?
President Barack Obama continues Bush' American torture system as gas prices head back up again.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Not Counting Snoopy's Little Friend
The last survivor of the "I Was At Woodstock Generation" dies from an drug overdose. On the other hand, 95% of "Saw First Man Walk On The Moon Generation" still alive..
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Soldiers Make Do
Soldiers forced to dye their own camouflage gear, make their own bullets in latest British MoD blunders.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Drug Dealers Wanted In Afghanistan
US says drug dealers on Afghan wanted list. Newly elected Afghan leaders say their stashes are lower than they have been in decades.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
New Species Discovered
Flying, talking frog with hallucinogenic backs among 353 new Himalayan species discovered say members of the WWF
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Hillary In Congo, Maybe Definitly
U.S. Sec. of State Clinton promoted democracy in the war devastated country of Congo Monday & criticized an epidemic of sexual assaults in its violence-torn east, before being carried off by gorillas.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Clinton/Angola Agreements
Clinton, Angola sign agreement to combat HIV/AIDS/The Evil Eye/Shaman Curses/Heebie Jeebies?Erectile Dysfunction.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Good News, I Guess
Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman says world avoided second Great Depression, but third may have already started.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
One Bad Check Fee Raised To $100!
Banks in the US are poised to make billions in customer overdraft fees this year, the Financial Times said. "Without more bailouts, we have to screw the little guy even harder", say Bankers.
written by Bureau, 10 August 2009
Spoof Writers Exiled to New Jersey
Spoof Editors are exiling Spoof writers to NJ! It is being done ever so slowly, as not to arouse attention. When you appear as the "Featured Writer", next stop is sleeping with the fishes in NJ.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2009
President Speaks at a Town Hall Meeting
President Obama gave a speech on US Foreign Policy and Health Care Reform issues. The audience submitted a single written comment, "we find your policy on Health Care Reform to be very foreign."
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2009
President Obama puts FEMA on Alert
FEMA braces for Hurricane "Americans." This storm is hitting Health Care Reform town meetings, everywhere. Driven by strong doubt middleclass taxpayers are deluging their congressmen with questions.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2009
Congressional Health Care Surgery
A number of congressional far left liberal Democrats have undergone surgery to remove their attachment to Speaker Pelosi. One was heard to comment "now I can actually smell the roses again!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2009
