NJ Kidney Ring Defend Themselves
New Jersey Men arrested for buying, selling kidneys say the east Tennessee people were happy with one kidney, $100.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Early Man Could Write?
Writings came fairly early in human development say researchers after discovering sign in cave, "Non poots rond nite fares".
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Hawkings Admits Error
Physicist Stephen Hawking admits error in his String Theory Into Other Dimensions. "Forgot to carry the seven, Hawkings reports.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Foreign Student Exchange Mixup
Major screw-up in foreign student exchange records has family's son sent to Gitmo, Gitmo detainee arrives, persuades family to join jihad.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
New Minimum Wages Help
President: New minimum wage increase should allow most fast food restaurant employees to eat there.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Few Takers So Far
NASA say there are few visitors at the National Space Museum who purchase small 6 ounce bottles of geniune recycled astronaut pee. May add "Taste Your Own Recycled Pee" machine.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Government Motors Deals
Government Motors, former GMC, say they can knock off $4,000 on new cars the year around but will require waiting list of approximately two years for paperwork.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Obama: On The Ground At Disasters
President Obama promises to do more than to "fly over" disaster areas. Will begin with "on the ground" inspections of the Detroit Lions training camp.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Halloween Safety Advice Early
US Safety Board releases early warnings about children's Halloween coming soon. Most treats seem OK but there are always a few bad caramel apples. Suggest screening before eating.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
VP Gets Sweeping Powers
President Barack Obama gives sweeping new powers to Vice President Biden as he hands him the official Shaker-made broom, Hillary used to fly around on.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Guinness Book Names Funniest Family Name In America
It belongs to Miriam and Homer Nuckenfutz of Sheeit, Iowa. They own the Nuckenfutz Ace Hardware Store, in town. Their slogan, "If We Don't Have It You Are Nuckenfutz."
written by tlmedia, 01 August 2009
Poll Of American Concerns
Poll: The economy, terrorism, Swine Flu and that big thing in the sky hovering over NYC top American concerns.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Better Safe Than Sorry
Republicans demand to see list of Judge Sotomayor's best friends, family members & likes, dislikes in food, wine and snacks. If she's ever been a member of another sex. Dems say this is just a stall.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Harris Poll On Procrastination A Disappointment
Of the 10 million people who requested to be included in the survey, only 5% have responded.
written by tlmedia, 01 August 2009
Madoff's Wife Jailed
Bernie Madoff's wife taken in by police after selling Bernie's kidneys, live and spleen to 250 different people.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Doesn't Make Sense
Black market organs being sold by rabbis & governors being questioned by authorities. Is New Jersey the place anyone would go for a black market lung, liver, kidney? Most say they would go to Hawaii.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Big Asteroid Coming
Bad News: Asteroid could hit, destroy the Earth in 2015. Good news: Palestinians, Israelis, US, Russia, French, English, Shiites, Sunnis all eating and drinking and being merry together.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
All On The Shit List
Poll: Public fed up with everyone including Republicans, Democrats, friends, relatives, moms, apple pie, baby bunnies.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Then They Go Back Home
Families could be £10,000 better off if they break up due to Labour's tax and benefits. Long lines appearing outside divorce courts.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Cuban Tourists Expected
As the US and Cuba begin better relationship with each other, many in Miama expect Cuban tourists to begin arriving soon to take advantage of cheap US goods.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Obama Seeing Things
Obama sees US economy improving, all soldiers out of Iraq, little yellow and blue bunnies hopping around the White House Rose Garden, blames beer meetings.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Michael Vick Loved That Little Guy
Michael Vick, just released from jail after serving time for staging dog fights, had a photo opportunity this week posing with the little Taco Bell Dog, shedding tears at it's funeral.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Suicide Bombers Making Deals
One good sign that things are easing up in Iraq is that many suicide bombers are now hiring stunt men to take their places.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
British Goods Faked
Trading standards officers say that consumers are being tricked into buying fake goods, like "authentic spotted dick, toad in the hole, on the internet by companies pretending to be based in the UK.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Strange Spot On Venus
Astronomers are puzzled by a strange bright spot which has appeared in the clouds of Venus. May send team of doctors for a mammogram.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Another Korean War?
North Korea accuses South Korean fishing boat crew of planning to start another Korean War by fishing in their waters.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Crooks Accuse Crooks Of Being Crooked
House votes to clamp limits on Wall Street bonuses. Wall Street pickets to eliminate House and Senate self-raises, corruption.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Kentucky Man Arrested
Kentucky man charged in the 1980's slaying of Wisconsin couple. Claims he mistook them for Hatfields.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
What Goes Around Come Around
Kuwait alarmed by Iraqi failure to pay reparations, threaten to invade Iraq. US soldiers on guard, General Swartzkopf called back to duty.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Clunkers Deal A Mess
Popularity, Web snafus nearly breaks 'clunkers deal'. Big mix-up included at least three clunkers brought in receiving three more clunkers as new cars.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
"It's A Trip", Claims Obama
Obama, Gates and Crowley hail meeting as step forward, trip over pet water dog, and falling on Joe Biden passed out on the White House lawn beside the "No Alcohol Allowed On White House Lawn" sign.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
There are some advantages for "Zero Gee" club members in new Defying Gravity
Since you are floating, no one has to sleep in the wet spot.
written by unknown
"Rioters" Trials Begin
Riots, violent protests break out after Iran begins trial of post election 'rioters and protesters'
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
New television show, Defying Gravity, puts stars in "Zero Gee" club
Most mile high clubbers do it in bathrooms...so do these guys use airlocks?
written by unknown
"Spitit Of Innovation"
Obama: 'Spirit of innovation' key to the future and boy have I hit upon a gold mine with these beer conferences.
written by Bureau, 01 August 2009
Cash for Clunkers program voted an extra two billion dollars
Unfortunately, the real clunkers are in Congress, not on the road.
written by unknown
Cash for Clunkers program runs out of money in four days
Most people thought it meant that they could trade in their mother in law.
written by unknown
Corazon Aquino buried in the Phillipines
The late Imelda Marcos represented at the funeral by 6000 pair of shoes.
written by unknown
Tough Contest Rules In A Recession
"Valid where not prohibited, Limit 0 per customer
written by tlmedia, 01 August 2009
Wow!
"Wow" is the tagline for the new documentary depicting Perez Hilton, entitled "PEREZ".
written by unknown
Updated Cash for Clunkers Program
Speaker Pelosi says "Cash for Clunkers" has been updated. Americans should bring a clunker to the nearest federal parking lot; leave it and $4000, thus negating any second stimulus package deficit.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 August 2009
Reverends Al and Jessie Conspicuously Absent
Reverends Al and Jessie seem to be AWOL on the Professor Gates affair. Rumor is that President Obama has former Vice President Dick Cheney "water boarding" them in the White House basement.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 August 2009
