Two Circuses To Merge
The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has announced that it will be merging with The Media Circus. The new name will be The Clowns 'R' Us Circus.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 September 2008
Ahadinejad on Larry King Interview: "OK, you can live!"
Reacting favorably to the chat show host's suckup interview, the Iranian Terrorist said he would amend the Fatua against Jews and leave him out. Relieved, King made plans to replace his 10th wife.
written by unknown
Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach in Surgery after Coon attacks Lab
Team spokesman says, "it wasn't her dog, it was a classroom at the school...it also wasn't a raccoon, it was one of the Nappy Headed Ho's from Rutgers."
written by unknown
Obama Proves He Can Multi Task/Accomplishes 3 Things at Once!
Plays with himself, jerks off the American public, and pats self on back simultaneously! NBC signs him to new Realty Show tentatively entitled "Monkey Business" with adoring host Chris Mathews.
written by unknown
JAMA Report On ED
After months of experiments on volunteers, a group of sexologists report in JAMA that the latest herbal cure for erectile dysfunction is one big flop.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Dick Clark Confesses
After Clay Aiken came out of the closet early this week, Dick Clark has decided to come out of his coffin, just after sundown.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Legionaires Disease Claims Two More
The New York Post reported today that there has been two more victims of Legionaires Disease. This time it's Bouncing Boy and Phantom Girl.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Actor Robert Wagner admits in new autobiography he once considered killing Warren Beatty over Wood
"It had nothing to do with Natalie, it was just because he could get a bigger, longer, stronger Woody than me and the girls all liked his erections."
written by unknown
Hawking Confession
Leading scientist and bestselling author Stephen Hawking admitted on Oprah yesterday afternoon that he is actually a Muppet.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
McCain Rushes Back To DC
John McCain has canceled Friday night's debate with Obama to rush back to Washington over the financial & housing crisis. "Remember, I got thirteen houses to protect", McCain told reporters.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Soho Petition
A group of New York City restaurants have petitioned the city to designate a section of Soho as a No-Fry Zone.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Gang Trouble Not Serious
Police in London say no one was seriously injured last night during a gang territorial dispute between the notorious Fabulous Fairy Godmothers and the nearly psychotic, Glamorous Gay Ghandis.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Iraq Completely Different
Before returning to Washington, John McCain told an audience Tuesday that things have completely changed in Iraq. "It looks completely different than my last visit, during the Ottoman Empire."
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Iran Ready For Anything
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warned today that Iran is ready for anything, including an all-out nuclear attack. "We've got our virgins all lined up", stated the President.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
NBC Accused
NBC was accused today of making up outlandish headlines to draw more viewers, due to low Evening News ratings. The accusation came from FOX senior reporter, Geraldo Rivera.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Clay Aiken caught slipping Lindsay Lohan the sausage while she shows him her muffin
The pair breakfasted together at IHOP while waiting for interviews regarding their "coming out" announcements.
written by unknown
NYC Street Arrests
Bootlegged CD's sold on New York City streets have turned out to be small flasks of homemade whiskey.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Borden's Employee Fired
Lonely employee who placed his own photograph on the back of milk cartons with his telephone number and e-mail address fired by Bordens.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Gambling Seniors
Study finds senior citizens who gamble are healthier, happier, less worried about keeping home spotless, which they no longer own.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Texas Pollution Worsens
Air pollution over Texas is getting worse as 820,000 Texans, still without power, are holding two-week-long outdoor barbecues.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Politics For Dummies
Joe Biden was accused yesterday of running from the enemy and pissing his pants in World War II by the Not-So-Swift Boat Veterans.
written by Bureau, 25 September 2008
Bush Adresses Nation on State of The Economy
Advises consumers to panic now and avoid the rush.
written by Kilroy, 25 September 2008
M56 Motorway Closed due Road Sinkage.
Motorway is closed in both directions after a huge deep hole has appeared during the night. Cheshire traffic police are currently looking into it.
written by Rusty, 25 September 2008
Unexpected Presidency Candidate
Obama will be competing with yet another candidate- capuchin monkey who goes by the name of 'Jack'. The primate has had several mutual nominations in the last week.
written by wellwitted, 25 September 2008
Bush Confesses
Bush told the American people and the world that he wishes his parents had contrecepted more effectively!
written by Pointer, 25 September 2008
