World's shortest man meets world's tallest woman to promote new Guiness World Records Book
He said, "I walked between her legs several times for photos and publicity purposes, and because she wasn't wearing any panties and I liked looking at her goodies."
written by unknown
Nicole Kidman rated most overpaid star on box office returns in Hollywood
Paris Hilton obviously didn't get paid anything last year.
written by unknown
Revealing pictures of Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe flood the internet
Al Gore tells teenage daughters and their friends "Aren't you girls glad I invented the internet?"
written by unknown
O.J. Simpson tries proven court tactics to aid his defense in current trial
Judge and Jury not impressed that glove from Nicole's murder still doesn't fit.
written by unknown
Paper company creates new three ply toilet tissue to replace current two ply
Spokesman says "We did it because some of our customers are just too stupid go get a piece 50% longer."
written by unknown
Star Trek actor marries twenty year companion in California ceremony
Android Data says that he and his vaccuum cleaner should be very happy together, because "Hoover can suck with the best of them."
written by unknown
McCain staffer claims candidate invented the Blackberry
The aging Senator McCain answered criticism by saying that "I helped God with the huckleberries and boysenberries, but he had already invented blackberries before I was born."
written by unknown
Taking a gamble
Today, a compulsive gambler drove to Las Vegas, pulled
up to a parking meter, put quarter in, and lost his car!
Bad luck or what?
written by IN SEINE, 16 September 2008
Soldier grows another foot
One of the youngest soldiers serving in Helmand Province, Afghanistan has received three knitted socks from his loving mum back home. "I wrote to her telling her I'd grown another foot." he said
written by IN SEINE, 16 September 2008
Damien Hurst's Art Auction
An auction house in London has sold some pieces of artwork made by world famous Damien Hirst for £111 million - only HALF of the estimated value.
written by IN SEINE, 16 September 2008
Obama Rejects Campaign Donation
Hooker's Lobby Group vows to continue "Blowjobs for Barack" fundraisers.
written by Jill The Shill, 16 September 2008
New Nader Book In The Works
Rumour: Ralph Nader plans to release his new book, "Chinese Condoms, Unsafe At Any Speed" right after the November elections.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Latest Scientific Discoveries
Scientists discover 120-million-year-old ant, million-year-old camel bone in Syria and nearly-200-year-old male candidate running for Presidate of the United States.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Reuters Threaten Lawsuit
REUTERS threatens lawsuit against Leno, Letterman, Conan O'Brien, The Spoof over recent pig-wearing-lipstick jokes.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Pope's Recent DC Visit
Report: Pope Benedict XVI was finally able to drive out the Bimbo-Demons, in a puff of cigar smoke, from Oval Office on recent visit to the White House.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Record Broken
Nahashan Dgese, the 1952 Boston Marathon winner originally from Kenya, won the Lakeview Nursing Home Walk Across The Lobby contest yesterday in a record 12 minutes and 16 seconds.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Bush Doctrine
Apparently neither VP candidate Sarah Palin nor ABC's Charley Gibson knew what "The Bush Doctrine" was during their recent interview, however both could easily state "The Bill Clinton Bush Doctrine."
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Sunspots missing. Earth cools.
Stop global cooling now. Feed cows beans.
written by Kilroy, 16 September 2008
Big Mac Champ In Trouble
A New York City man, who has eaten 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years before losing his job at Washington Mutual yesterday, will gladly pay you Tuesday for a Big Mac today.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Coffee Good For You
A new study has found that a cup of coffee daily cuts the rate of Cirrhosis of the Liver rist by a full 22 percent, except for Irish coffee.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Bank Giveaways
Banks in the United States are now giving away free survival kits and long-life canned goods with the opening of every new account.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
McCain On Computers
John McCain told reporters yesterday that the reason he has never bought a computer is that he has learned that you could be hacked if you do, and that being hacked doesn't sound like a good thing.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Security Concerns
Security concerns as Barack Obama plans to campaign in 56th and 57th state over the next few days.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Lottery Winner's Scret
Lottery winner, Henry McKee, credits going down to the local Quick Stop and purchasing a lottery ticket for his success.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Consumer Guide On Cereals
Latest Consumer Guide Magazine reveals number of Cheerios in a box has shrunk from 2150 to 1750 but cost 50 cents more. Next month: The Rice Krispy Expose'
written by Bureau, 16 September 2008
Great Wall Graffiti
A recent visitor to The Great Wall of China has reported that he saw the following Sarah Palin graffiti: Confucius say, woman who shoot moose, better have damn big kitchen!
written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 September 2008
Crisis on Wall Street!
Forget Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch. The hot dog vendors may go on strike! There'll be blood in the streets if that happens.
written by Warren Redlich, 16 September 2008
Palin at it again
Palin wants head of probe fired for looking into the firing of the Public safety Director of Alaska. She says its God's will.
written by disciple, 16 September 2008
Cannon Corporation to make huge donation to assist in September's National Hispanic Heritage Month
Company will donate a free towel to every wetback.
written by unknown
NFL celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month during Monday Night Football game
The home team Dallas Cowboys respond with "Remember the Alamo!"
written by unknown
Subway Restaurant chain arrested for promotion of male prostitution
Police say offer of "$5.00 footlongs is just going too far."
written by unknown
Pope worships at shrine of Lourdes during world travels
Madonna wonders "what that dirty old man wants with my daughter. Shouldn't he be out chasing boys?"
written by unknown
