Apple to Open Store in Grand Central Station; iPads Perform Zumba Routines to Celebrate

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

image for Apple to Open Store in Grand Central Station; iPads Perform Zumba Routines to Celebrate
This costume comes in a size to fit an iPad. Who knew?

It was a press conference for the ages yesterday when Apple chose Grand CentraI Station as the venue for its announcement that the company plans to open a store in that very location. The Apple executives thought THEY would be the center of attention. Wrong!

The executives were foolish enough to bring along a dozen iPads to display at the press conference. The tablet computers ended up stealing the show.

When technical announcements were being made by Apple officials and the crowd grew restless, a member of the audience produced a boombox in order to blast out some Latin music. The rest, as they say, is history.

Soon the iPads were on their little feet, doing some Zumba dance routines. First there was a smattering of applause from a delighted crowd; that grew to a roar as the iPads did more exciting and ambitious moves.

Commuters in Grand Central Station, like most Americans, are enthralled by Zumba, a Latin fitness program that's been sweeping the country. Frustrated Apple executives didn't have a chance of getting anyone to listen to them. In fact, they didn't even want to listen to each other.

After an hour of dancing, exhausted iPads addressed the crowd, explaining why they'll be delighted to be spending some time in Grand Central. "A two-minute shuttle ride, and we'll be in Times Square," said one ecstatic iPad. "All the Broadway shows practically at our fingertips."

Another iPad, a slightly plump one, agreed, saying, "And then there's the food. Zaro's for hot dogs, Junior's for cheesecake, and Magnolia for cupcakes."

The press conference continued, with exuberant audience members asking question after question of the iPads. Stars are born!

Y'know the ad that goes: I love New York. Well, iPads really DO love NY. And judging by the reception they got yesterday in Grand Central, NY loves them right back.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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