Pastafarianism demands to be included in the science curriculum

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

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Pastafarianism has launched an appeal in the high-courts of Surrey in an attempt to get Pastafarianism taught in Science.

"It's a perfect explanation of the origins of life the universe and everything," said Chief Pasta Bowl, Penny Tortellini. "With a nod towards Douglas Adams for that phrase."

According to Pastafarianism, the whole of creation is made up of tiny strands of spaghetti too small to see. This idea has been given mathematical grounding by a whole swathe of physicists who prefer to call this 'String Theory'.

"It's one and the same idea, really," said Tortellini. "Except they do not explain where the spaghetti strings come from, and we do."

The designer of the universe, the Great Noodle, imbues the whole of creation with strands from Himself, waggling the strands at various frequencies to make matter have mass, energy and a slight smell of wet pasta. The latter is carried by the fifth universal force: Odourinos. With all of Himself in every particle of matter and energy in the universe, the Great Noodle is able to direct and tweak creation in any way he sees fit, leading to the creation of life as we know it.

"We wish to have the current model of physics to be labelled with the word 'Theory'," said Tortellini, "And have the alternative view point to the standard model be taught alongside Pastafarinism, along with the controversy surrounding the debate between the two sides."

The Surrey School board has admitted that any controversy between Pastafarianism and mainstream Physics has completely passed it by.

"We didn't realise anybody had a problem with Newton, Einstein, Faraday and the like," said Al Falfa, head of the School Board, and tasty snack. "We've examined the literature that the Pastafarianites have sent us, and to be fair, it looks convincing, even with the pictures of scientists in white coats all having hand drawn devil horns, tails and pitchforks on them."

Despite the convincing nature of the material, Falfa does not believe Pastafarianism has a place in the classroom. "It's all a bit silly, isn't it?" he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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