Would butter be better if it was bitter?

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 13 December 2010

image for Would butter be better if it was bitter?
Is bitter butter better in batter?

Butter is a much maligned cooking ingredient. Blamed for many a heart attack it is said to be as dangerous to Western society as the car.

One of the major problems with butter is it tastes so damn good.

This has led nutritionist Kerry Gold to come to the remarkable conclusion that butter would be better if it was bitter.

"If butter was bitter," said Gold, "then people would not find butter as attractive to eat, and eat less of it."

Anne Kerr, a rival nutritionist has hit out at Gold's conclusions.

"If butter was bitter," said Kerr, "It would most definitely not be better. Bitter butter would be sweetened with sugar, surely. This would be then, in effect, be doubling butter's problems."

According to Kerr, if butter were bitter, the sugar added to make bitter butter sweeter would pile on the calories and add tooth decay to butter's list of heinous crimes.

Gold is unrepentant. "I believe that bitter butter would mean that anything made with butter use less butter, as we use too much anyway."

An experiment was called for, and both nutritionists have made batter. Kerr added sugar, whilst Gold used less butter. Both have come to the same remarkable conclusion.

"Bitter butter batter is better," agreed both women.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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