Nigella Proposing One Handed Dishes

Written by j.w.

Friday, 1 October 2010

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Have you got your hand ready?

Super sexed Nigella Lawson is proposing a series of dishes you can cook with one hand as you watch her on your TV screen for her cookery show.

One dish is for slimey sausages and two new potatoes, another is for courgettes smothered in melting butter.

Manipulating carrots and cucumbers one handed will be quite a test, but worth it in the long run.

'These one handed recipes' she purred 'will be on your plate in no time. You can even get your pals around to join in the fun.'

Promises that Nigella will divesting herself of some of her clothes in the taxi as she gets ingredients for another exciting dish are rampant at the BBC.

'We have to get men watching these cookery programmes' said a chef known for his verbal dexterity 'Nigella may be no Norwich City fan but she can certainly stimulate the Baggies!'

Proof of the pudding will be in the eating. Mixing the Joy of Sex with the Joy of Cooking is likely to be a winner. Which one comes out on top will be something to watch for. It can hardly fail to be a feast for sore eyes in these days of misery and moaning.

Diehard Tories like her Dad Nigel find the whole spectacle demeaning. 'She's flogging a dead horse' grumbled several dying Lords as they tried again to lift their spirits.

Plans to make Nigella's kitchen so hot she has to cook naked are being discussed and Nude Nigella pictures are appearing on the internet where she is seen stuffing herself.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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