Slow Cooking for Folk with Time on Their Hands

Funny story written by birbee

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

image for Slow Cooking for Folk with Time on Their Hands
Stick it in pot, mother.............

With the popularity of Slow Cookers on the increase, local man Seaton Carew has grasped the mantle and brought out a must have for all decent slow cooking kitchens.

A Slow Cooker Cook Book
Entitled 'Slow Cooking for Those With Time', the book extols the benefits of taking ones time when carrying out the most important tasks of your daily day: cooking.

Packed full of mouth watering recipes and wrapped in a glossy cover with a top-of-the-range slow cooker on the front, the book is sure to be a best seller.

Recipes include everyday favourites with something for every member of the family:

Slow Cooked Chicken Hot Pot:Only four days cooking time, hardly any preparation time and a hearty meal for at least two, if not more or fewer.

Multi-Grain Bread*:Gorgeous home made bread, ready in just two days and eight hours (dependant on temperature setting) and great smells for your home too. Simply add flour and stuff with a bit of water.

Perpetual Roast Chicken:A recipe for the experienced slow cook only. If you set the slow cooker to the correct, very low, temperature you can place an egg in your slow cooker and wait for it hatch into a chicken. If the temperature is set right, the chicken will lay an egg before it is roasted, which will in turn hatch and grow into a chicken in around the same time the first chicken takes to roast. If you're lucky, and you introduce a Cockerel every now and then, you can keep this cycle going indefinitely thus providing yourself with a never ending supply of nourishing meals.

Potatoes:Any type of potatoes can be slow cooked, but the secret is not to rush the process. A good quality potato can take up to ten days to cook thoroughly.

A good tip to master the art of slow cooking is to purchase more than one slow cooker.
Buy as many as you can afford, budget brands can be useful for everyday cooking, and then you can cook several days meals at once.
Keep seven slow cookers in the kitchen to really take advantage of the new Slow Cooker Cook Book and you can simultaneously cook a meal for every day of the week at the same time.

But remember to plan carefully.

You don't want to mix up your Perpetual Chicken with your Slow Cooked Omelette with Lazy Peppers otherwise you would be a real pickle.

For a daily morning treat, keep a Slow Cooker in the bedroom, preferably next to the bed, and before retiring pop in a teabag and some water, switch on and in the morning you can enjoy a perfect cup of tea in bed.

If you are finding that your multitude of Slow Cookers are using up too much electricity, which may well result in frequent trips to top up the meter, simply remove the thirteen amp fuse from the plug and replace with a three amp fuse.

*Agitating device required to help the mixing process to achieve a perfect loaf.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more