Premature Ignition Suspected as Probe Fails to Enter Venus

Funny story written by Hawking's Chair

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

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Despite her disarming charm, Venus has remained unprobed

A Japanese Probe destined to enter the orbit of planet Venus failed to do its job. It is believed the probe's engine had a premature stroke.

The Probe "Katsucka" was expected to mount into the orbit last night, but just about midnight (0000 GMT), its engine fired prematurely before reaching the spot resulting in a failed insertion.

"I think there was too much excitement," said a scientist who watched the mission. "The Pussysucka - I mean Katsucka - was rather overcharged and missed the orbit."

It will be six more years before the probe can have another go at it. "That's a long time indeed, much longer than that for an average Briton," said one Japanese woman.

Many here firmly believe that Venus's feminity had something to do with the probe's failed entry. "Haven't you read the book 'Men Are From Mars'? Me neither," said one university student.

Japan had a similar failure on a similar mission to Mars in 1998. "If that book is right, maybe we should avoid both Venus and Mars," said the same student. "We should try another planet. How about a mission to Uranus?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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