Written by Charpa93

Friday, 6 August 2010

image for Solar Tsunami Responsible for Higher Incidence of Sneezing Around World

While scientists can say for sure that large solar flares can cause disruptions in electronic devices such as satellite signals and cell phone reception, they are less sure of how the flares can affect humans.

The latest solar flare, one of the strongest felt in decades, has been likened to a solar tsunami that seems to be coming in waves and crashing into the earth's atmosphere. What was originally thought to be nothing more than a nuisance causing an hour or two of mild electronic disruptions on the morning of August 4th has now turned a bit more sinister. There continue to be intermittent outages of radio and television broadcasts as well as cell phone and internet services well into day two of the flare.

However, the most bizarre by-product of the solar tsunami seems to be an unusually high amount of sneezing going on all over the world. People are calling clinics and emergency rooms asking if there is anything that can be done about the non-stop sneezing they are experiencing when outdoors.

One man from Great Bend, Indiana claims "I was out in the fields mowing over the corn fields and I swear I must have sneezed a hunnert times just in the space of a half hour. I tried my best to shield my face from the sun but I kept feeling that tickle and sure enough as soon as I turned my head up toward the heavens, I'd let out a sneeze. I ain't never sneezed so much in my entire life. I was so drained from the experience, I had to go inside and lie down."

Similar stories are coming in from across the globe. Residents in extremely sunny locales are cautioned to remain indoors until the threat of solar flare-induced sneezing has passed. Symptoms include an itching in the nostrils and then a sneeze, sometimes coming in rapid succession. It is not known how the solar flare is affecting the outer body but residents are warned against going outdoors without wearing protective clothing until more information can be gathered on this most unusual occurrence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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