Everton's Tim Cahill Does His Bit For Tsunami Victims

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 2 October 2009

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Everton midfielder Tim Cahill has dedicated his winning goal in the Europa League game against BATE Borisov this week to the victims of Tuesday's Pacific tsunami.

In a lunatic moment, the Australian international mimed rowing a canoe after scoring in the second half of the match in Belarus.

"I just felt in my heart it was the right thing to do," the clown told ESPN.

"Me and my family are from Samoa and I've got a lot of family there that got caught in the tsunami. A lot of people are going through a hard time. If I can make things better for them by pretending to row a canoe, I'm happy to do it."

Rescue workers on the Samoan islands and Tonga are searching for survivors after the tsunami claimed 149 confirmed victims. Thousands of people are in need of help after huge waves, triggered by an earthquake, swamped the islands. The prime minister of Samoa said the devastation of the island "was complete". He also said:

"What does Cahill think he's playing at? If he really wants to help, he'll stop fooling around with his stupid mime act. I doubt very much whether anyone in Samoa gives a shit about some ridiculous little runt pratting about pretending he's rowing for his life. Tosser!"

Cahill, an Australian international whose mother is Samoan, played football for Western Samoa at a junior level before pledging his allegiance to Australia, deserting Samoa in her time of need.

This week, to make up for his disloyalty, he pretended to row a boat in order to help the victims of the tsunami. Loony.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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