It's Hard to Laugh When You Stub Your Toe

Funny story written by C. Cranium

Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for It's Hard to Laugh When You Stub Your Toe
Recessive gene has toe beacon

Doctors at the Psychedelic Post-Premonition Research Center in Mill Valley, California have discovered that the some toes are loaded with previously unidentified microscopic nerve cells. The cells are called Samantha Micro Toe Cellules after the lab technician who stubbed her toe on a lab table while trying to avoid being seen by other lab workers.

The explanation for why Samantha Sethberg was without shoes or clothes is unknown but the tragic toe accident left her unconscious for hours. Under the same offending lab table, and also without clothing, Dr. Joseph Bouncing Crow, Podiatrist, was witness to an injured toe that pulsated with varied colors as it swelled and contracted.

The toe seemed to be broadcasting a message.

The pulsating and vividly hued toe has been identified as the result of a rare recessive gene that provided early man with a warning - don't walk here. It was a good evolutionary idea since early Nikes, of forty thousand years ago, left the toes completely exposed and vulnerable to errant rocks. Hunters were better off with an unconscious colleague with toe beacon flashing than with a fellow hunter screaming Cro-Magnon profanities. The silence of stalking for the hunt was preserved and the hunters were warned of a potential toe-stubbing hazard.

Back at base camp cave unsuccessful-at-love cave brutes, who did not posses a club, could place toe hazards at convenient romantic sites hoping to get lucky. The pulsating toe protected the cave beauty by alerting others for rescue if the toe-stubbing pick up line was not meant to be successful.

Doctors and research scientists continue studies of the Samantha Micro Toe gene phenomenon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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