Top boffins are warning us all to stay clear of the latest batch of Russian apples to hit our shores. Grown just some 10 miles from Chernobyl the apples look appealing at first sight, however many are actually deformed!
"Zer is notzing rong wit our apples," said Boris, a member of the Polit Bureau. However we believe there is as this picture shows. A British boffin said "We are still testing these apples however many seem to be half man half fruit!"
The Russians have demanded we take their apples. They site the mad cows and swiney pigs we sent them some years ago. "Ve ate all zat meet u send us, now its ur turn," said Boris.
A British government spokes person agreed with Boris. "Yes, it's our turn to swallow hard with this one. The apples are really not that bad, you just need to avoid the teeth. I have fed them to my children and they said they were just a little sharp!"