Apple accused of helping people have affairs

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Apple accused of helping people have affairs
You'd better Work Late Tonight! Or ELSE!

Electronics Super Giant Apple have been accused of making it easier for owners of their iPhone to have extra-marital affairs, though Apple deny any complicity.

The whole sordid tale started when Apple released their new Applelet for the iPhone called Background.

In essence, Background plays a sound clip during a conversation. With downloads for the various backgrounds available from the Apple Store starting at £5, it would initially appear that this is a little too expensive for ordinary iPhone users, and yet the uptake has been massive.

"Our most popular download is the 'delayed train train station' background," said Trevor Clever, lead programmer on Background. "This makes it sound like the caller is in a train station, with an announcement of all the trains being delayed taking place. Although the 'Demanding Boss' Background is also quite popular, with the sound of a man demanding that you stay late at work."

There are other background sounds available, such as The Pub, the Grand Prix and the I'm Going Through a Tunnel Breaking Up backgrounds.

But the two most popular Backgrounds have led to the accusation of Affair Facilitation being levelled at Apple.

"What other use can you have to make it sound like your train's delayed, or the boss wants you to work late?" asked Claire O'Hare, the aggrieved cheated-on wife of Bill O'Hare. "I got suspicious when I heard the same train announcement every night, and searched online."

A spokesperson for Apple said that they had photos taken on the iPhone's camera of Claire O'Hare kissing another man, and she'd better drop the action.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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