Apple unveil new iPhone Applelets

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Apple unveil new iPhone Applelets
Click Adam's fig Leaf for a hilarious anecdote

Apple, the world renowned maker of the iPhone are set to unveil their next suite of Applelets (Applets for Apples). These will be available for download from the Apple Store priced at an affordable £20 each, and they claim that no iPhone will be complete without them.

Hairstyle lets you simply point the video camera at yourself, and download a wide range of different hairstyles (69pence each) to see how you would look with different hair. Our reviewer, Kathy Bathy, used this app, and now sports a beautiful bald head.

WTF Is That allows you to take a picture of anything, and it will identify it for you. With an accuracy rating of thirteen percent it successfully identified St Peters Cathedral, but indicated that a kettle was the Lincoln Memorial, whilst a snowman was identified as a London Bus. That's £1.50 we won't be seeing again.

Breathe is an Applelet no human can be without. For ten pence a day, it will send you reminders to breathe in and out. Vital for the busy executive that forgets to breathe.

Click Adam is one of Apples many frivolous Applelets that help you wile away long train journeys (if you can get a connection). It puts a cartoon of a naked man with a fig leaf protecting his modesty right on your iPhone. When clicked, he will regale you with an hilarious anecdote.

Chatterbox is Apple's most innovative Applelet. For just thirty-six pence a minute, this will let you talk to somebody in real-time. Talking is just like texting, but with the rapid response of Instant Messaging. Apple have termed these real-time exchanges 'Chatting' or 'Conversations' when they last longer than a few seconds. Every iPhone owner has been allocated a unique twelve-digit number, simply tap this in to the Applelet's simple interface of numbers arranged in a grid, and if the other party is amenable, you can 'Chat' with them.

Apple have patented 'Chatting' and 'Conversations' as they believe this will be the next big thing on the iPhone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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