Scientists discover new planet by using big ears

Written by KendoMonkey

Thursday, 6 December 2001


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Listening to the dawn

Scientists in American lab, Hetherow in Cleveland, have discovered a new planet orbiting nearby star 'Rando'. The planet, apparently similar to Uranus, is to be named "Polyp".

"The star, Rando, was only discovered in 1932 and was named after the magician who found it, Mr. Alexandre Rando. We have now found a planet orbiting the star at a distance of roughly 4.4 million miles."

The planet was discovered by Artemis Jean, a Venezualan zoologist who specialises in audio sonography. "What I do is I point my ear in the general direction of any object, and I can tell you its composition, density, mass and also, sometimes, what it would be like to lick it." Which explained why he had been 'listening' to my colleagues breasts.

"It is very handy for things like planet discovery. I first knew something was wrong when I pointed my ear at 'Rando' and it didn't taste like Ginger Beer (as other stars do) but of Lime sorbet. Lime sorbet is not a possible taste for anything other than a planet, so I was aware that it was not an anomaly."

"Of course, the taste is not just of Lime Sorbet, but also of things like sand and also cloth. Uranus tastes similar, when I hear it."

The planet is set to be studied by other scientists in the near future.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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