DENVER, Colo. - Scientists at Peak Medical School today announced the successful clinical trial of heroine as an antidote to aspartame.
In 200 out of 200 cases, heroine ended the sufferings of aspartame symptom plagued test subjects. Subjects were chosen who demonstrated life threatening effects of excess aspartame consumption.
A poll administered before and after the study indicated that all complaints of the test subjects had been resolved to their satisfaction after being supplied with enough heroine to last them the rest of their lives, equipment for administration, and training in its use.
The new treatment regimen is expected to be available over the counter at leading drug stores in the U.S. this year.
