Scientists are to cease the age-old policy of only recruiting from the ranks of nerds, losers, geeks and wimps.
Instead, they will now seek future scientific geniuses from groups comprised of stoned teenagers, beauty queens, muscle men and surfers.
"We need to change the whole image of the stereotypical 'scientist", said Professor Frankenstein of the University of Carpathia, Transylvania, "no more crazy-haired, ugly odd jobs. Gone are the days of white coat-wearing skinny guys with spectacles".
To promote the new direction, the scientific community has elected Dolph Lundgren, Lindsey Lohan and former Beverley Hills 90210 'actress' Tori Spelling as honorary 'science dudes'.
Naturally, experts accept that the standard of inventions and scientific advancement will decrease but laboratories will look nicer and stuff.
