Greatest Event In History

Funny story written by Joe Dent

Friday, 7 October 2005

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Transit Of Venus: Spectacular

The world awaited with bated breath probably the most amazing sight mankind has ever witnessed. At 05:20 GMT on Tuesday , the planet Venus began its slow journey across the face of the Sun.

The millions of people worldwide who could see the Sun during this transit watched in awe with the aid of sophisticated apparatus using the intricate technique of pinhole projection.

This technique involves using a pair of binoculars or a telescope to project an image of the Sun onto a sheet of paper. As Venus crosses the face of the Sun, its shadow can be seen moving across the paper.

The technique, which took NASA twenty-five years to perfect, was applied by an estimated 1 billion people across the globe. Astounded children and adults as far apart as Liverpool and Manchester saw for the first time this truly wondrous event.

However, the approach of the big day proved to be too much for some individuals.

Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore, who witnessed the last transit in 1882, had to be restrained on Monday evening after becoming overexcited. Neighbours reported seeing Sir Moore being led towards an ambulance in a strait-jacket.

Unfair Competition

Sony, who make the PlayStation games console were said to be concerned at the attention the transit of Venus was receiving. In the run up to the transit, Sony shares plunged by 65% as millions of games fans switched off their consoles and grabbed a pair of binoculars and sheet of white paper.

One More Chance, And Then You're Dead

For those who missed the transit, fear not! Another will occur in 2012. But if you miss that one, it will be unlikely you will witness the next in 2117!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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