Solar System "Really Boring", Astronomer Says

Funny story written by Bodhi LeBoeuf

Thursday, 5 June 2008

image for Solar System "Really Boring", Astronomer Says
Not much to look at?

A new paper published in the journal Science by astronomers from the National Cosmological Center concludes that our solar system really isn't that interesting.

After a survey of most of the published data from the past two decades about our tiny corner of the galaxy, astronomer Bob Bluch and his colleagues came to the conclusion that there just isn't much there worth bothering about.

"Saturn has the rings, which are kind of cool, but that one is getting pretty old.", says Bluch. "The other outer planets are either big and gassy, like Jupiter, or basically just cold as shit, like Neptune and Uranus. Pluto turns out not to even be a planet."

The smaller, inner planets don't fare much better in Bluch's assessment. "Have you checked out the photos sent back from Mars? I've seen boxes of cat litter that were more exciting. Heading inward, the sun burns the hell out of anything that's closer to it than we are. Want to visit Venus? Have fun." As for Earth itself? "We all know about that one", Bluch says.

If there really isn't much to look at, one might wonder why the astronomer has remained at his job. "I can work nights and there's hardly ever anyone else in the observatory. I play a lot of 'Guitar Hero'".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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