Harvard Study: Eight Glasses a Day Makes You Fat

Funny story written by dfword

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

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Cambridge, MA - A newly released Harvard research study has uncovered gross inaccuracies in nutritional information of more than five popular brands of bottled water.

The six month study found that an average 16.7 ounce bottle of water can contain between 220 and 310 calories--or 1300 added calories per day for a person consuming the recommended eight glasses.

"This means a slightly obese female could gain up to 110 extra pounds a year just by doing the water thing," said Harvard nutritionist Dr Oma Haugh.

"Right now our Department of Nutrition is recommending substituting fully-loaded soft drinks, beer, or whiskey for water, as they contain fewer calories and taste better," she added.

At least two bottlers included in the study are already making plans to introduce a diet water product, which will contain no more than 50 calories per serving.

But not all of the news is bad for dieters, as an eight ounce "double" serving of Häagen-Dazs rum raisin ice cream was found to contain only 40 calories, 500 fewer than the label indicated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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