Cranial recess appointments: a lobotomist writes

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 6 April 2007

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Cranian recess appointment brainmap

Washington DC - (Assinine Press): Many US presidents have used cranial recess appointments to play politics with nominees for posts normally reserved for bona fide assholes.

In my thirty five years as a practising lobotomist I have encountered literally thousands of cases of cranial recess which in simple layman's terms means a hole in the head.

A big gaping cavern once filled with brain tissue. And in White House terms a spontaneous case of The President's Brain is Missing.

Now, President Bush has by-passed the cerebral cortex 165 times to get his nominees in place, according to the Senate hysterian's office.

A previous Republican pea-brain, Ronald Reagan, still holds the record with 243 appointments. Bush Senior was too shit-scared to try beyond 50. And don't get me started on Richard Nixon; the Deep Throat route to his no-brainer is the lobotomists' answer to the Cosmic Black Hole.

As you are aware, the US Constitution authorizes cranial recess appointments so presidents can fill key dead-end posts with candidates of such assinine caliber that not even Congress can bat an eyelid when it eventually reconvenes following a period of well-earned inertia.

From a lobotomist's point of view, the key question is whether this is the politically wise thing to do.

A separation of powers is usually healthy. But Senator Dodd of Connecticut has warned that what's deceptive at best and illegal at worst isn't always the best way forward.

Unless of course it's a CIA sting.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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