Over Priced

Funny story written by ErHoff

Sunday, 25 March 2007

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DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - It's the online store that brings big benefits to little operators. It used to be just the big guys made the real money, like the contractors in and for the American Pentagon, a/k/a the Military Industrial Complex; but now even small chiselers can make great profits.

It used to be that contracts signed to deliver $100 hammers, $255 toilet seats; $1500 coffee machines were the only way to hide money for American illegal wars and American-sponsored terrorism in Asia and South America. That was until September 10, 2001 when Donald "the Don" Rumsfeld came up with a better idea when he just came out and said the US Defense Department (a/k/a War Department) couldn't account for 2.3 trillion dollars in taxpayer money! Of course he knew before he would have to face the pressure of the next news cycle which might run the story, some of that taxpayer cash would fund subterfuge, the false flag op known as 9-11, and from that point on "the War on Terror" would open the wallets of the American people like never before.

Of course not everyone is able to carry out such big-budget fear-induced spending sprees.

But let's not forget the time-honored way to justify a padded budget: show high cost and neglect to report big kickbacks. At Over-Priced.gov everyday products are sold at prices that make the most of no-bid, cost-plus contracts. They have laptop computers running Windows Vista for $195,000 and everyone needs a computer don't they. Ford SUVs for $450,000 comes complete with an extra cup holder. Canvas troop/camping tents that sleep 12 for $185,000. And to impress your boss they sell "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banners for $175,000. They have HP fax machines for $12,000. Single line rotary telephones, a real classic, for $55,000. Pencils for $20 a piece. Skillcraft Pens for $87 each. Two color business cards for $5.95 each when purchased in boxes of a thousand. "We Support Our Troops" yellow magnetic bumper stickers for $73 each (to which from each sale they donate 12 cents to the Michael Jackson Reach Out To The Children program).

When you become a member of Over-Priced.gov you list the account numbers for kickback or AdvantageClub Gold rewards dispersals. Within 30 days of your orders your rewards funds are deposited in your numbered accounts. It used to be if you wanted arrangements this audacious, you would have to go to turn to Halliburton, Grumman, Lockheed Martin, and other official government warfare corporations; but now Over-Priced.gov can match or even exceed the price in many cases.

We asked local Over-Priced.gov representative, Bob Shurouncul about the notion that all those people that have the yellow ribbon bumper stickers have been contributing to a pedophilia campaign, and he said: "Sure, but we needed Jocko's endorsement and just about everyone that has those stickers on their gas guzzler don't have a clue anyway."

Bob Shurouncul told us that next year his company was going to expand with a delivery service called Rendition Air, which would get your package to any country no questions asked.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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