Boots Estimates 3m Brits with Tanking Shwanker

Written by Pointer

Monday, 12 February 2007

image for Boots Estimates 3m Brits with Tanking Shwanker
Dr Crane's Lolita got quite miffed about her itchy muff

Boots (British Organization Of Tanking Shwankers) released evidence that 3 million citizens of the UK can no longer 'get it up'! Experts in the field of male impotence agreed that the problem has grown to such extremes. Dr Blaine Crane believes it has to do with something he calls "the Re-empire Relapse":

"We, Queen's Men, had become very used to the idea that the sun never sets on the former British Empire. We had moved on and worried about taxes and whether our mistresses would find out about our wives finding out about our mistresses and not caring. But when this Blair-Bush empire-building thing broke out, our equilibrium was affected.It got our imperial thing up again.

"Then Iraq went south big time and all that empire juice went with it and so did Sir Andrew!
My own erection which was stiffer than my dad got nightly, mind you, became as soft as the evidence of WMD's.

"Dame Crane was damn thrilled but Lolita got quite miffed about her itchy muff."

Other experts are blaming the newly discovered toxic waste deposits of Monsanto. Tory science pimp, Altelya Watt-Uwanaheer finds fault with GreenPeace: "If those tree-Friggers hadn't snooped around and found Monsanto's WMD's under London gazebos the droopy drews would never have hit the English manhood. It's the placebo effect in reverse! Damn those greenies!".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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