Scientists Working on Cure

Written by Ace Ventura

Monday, 29 January 2007


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So this DNA strand here goes G-A-Y?

Scientist I.M Gaye (Ira Manchester Gaye) is the head of the Department developing a cure for the incredibly gay Boy Band Syndrome disease.

I.M is unrecognized for working on the cure for Door Knob Sucking and Ink Shooting (I'll give you nothing if you can guess where the shooting came from). He has commisioned his own building in Boston, which stands lopsides known as Bent Tower through the city. His partner, and brother, H. E. I. S. Gaye (Henry Esquire Ira Sandford Gaye) commented on the hurtful remarks people have been saying: "It got so out of hand they tore off my license plate. Maybe it was because I put Gaye on it but still now my Penis Mobile looks unfinished." (His "Penis Mobile" is his nickname for his crappy Ford.)

Recently fired member of the Gaye family burned down I.M's home. Her name is I. M. W. I. T. H Gaye (Ingrid Machester Winchester Ira Tiberius Henry Gaye). She had this to say: "I got fired from my Architecture Group for designing my brother's building. It's prejuidice I tell you! It's hurtful, you watch out Adam Sandler AKA Michael Newman of Newman Architecture. He thinks his movie is real but actually deserves to be in a straight jack-" at that point Miss Gaye passed out from lack of breath.

Subjects for the cure are the diseased Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Nick Carter, Nick Lachey and Aaron Carter. Timberlake, who was seen in a pink tank top and sporting the tatto "It's Ok To like Cock", is staying in Bent Tower while his home is being searched for anything that could have jump started the disease.

More on this story as it develops

Ace Ventura

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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