Science Fact: Living is Bad for Health

Funny story written by d howdy

Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for Science Fact: Living is Bad for Health
Clear as mud

Scientists at Camford University have discovered irrefutable evidence that 'to live', that is the state of 'being alive' could in fact be bad for you. Extensive research on a whole multitude of volunteers of all ages and from all backgrounds have revealed astonishing results.

Leading Microbiologist Professor Eastum Hadley said: "It appears a conclusive scientific fact that being born could actually be bad for you. In an unprecedented experiment, 100% of those who at one time were alive eventually became or will in the future become 'non-alive', that is, dead. Although we are working hard on a solution, as yet the condition is incurable."

It now appears that just eating healthy foods and living a healthy lifestyle has no bearing on the outcome.

This reporter must report that on hearing this news I decided to stop everything and start my old habit of drinking, smoking and pacing up and down my bedroom in a state of anxiety waiting for the inevitable to happen...

D howdy

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more