Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 31 March 2015


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Veggies linked to poorer semen quality says glowing tampon manufacturer
Meat sure put lead in my pencil

California - Vegetarians and other non-flesh eaters are most likely to be shooting blanks these days according to a sanitary protection specialist pimping glow-in-the-dark tampons.

The manufacturers of RadiantPlugs periodwear said today that thousands of women had contacted the company in response to a survey about vegan sex and semen abstinence.

Respondents complained that despite using the novelty tampons to light up their fannies, their love lives remained increasingly dull with their menfolk remaining steadfastly incapable of stirring up the old gonad pot.

Especially if there was an arse in the month.

The survey also noted that men who used glow-in-the-dark condoms tended to eschew eating red meat, shellfish and fiery curries in case of repetitive strain syndrome attacking their scrotums.

A packet of regular pantyliners costs around five bucks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
46 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more