Walmart is proud to announce that they are the first retail chain in the USA to carry the new, amazing Britney Spears Reusable Tampons. According to New Products Institute spokeswoman Paula Muskogee, the new reusable tampons are the greatest thing…
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The American Research Group has just pointed out that the new Jennifer Lopez Designer Tampons are a tremendous hit with the women between the ages of 16½ and 87. The tampons which can be worn for up to 48 hours are ma…
BILLINGSGATE POST: This just goes to prove, once and for all, that feminists have no sense of humor. And you don’t have to be female to be a feminist. In fact, anyone can bend their gender and be offended by just about anything. That’s why men are…
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is now in the Designer Ribbed Tampons business. The Left Coast Mirror's crack reporter Tequila Tallyho, writes that the bleached blonde, divorcee has gotten all kinds of offers from beer compani…
HIDDEN HILLS, California - (Satire News) - Tabloid Today's Papaya Bamboo says that the Kardashian sisters are extremely upset about the tampon shortage that has just hit the nation. Miss Bamboo said that Kim, who was recently dumped by her boyfrie…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just reported that the Hooha Tampon Company, headquartered in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, has just issued a very important warning that needs to be heeded by any and all females who use their tampons. Company…
WAXAHACHIE, Texas – (Satire News) – The News Blues News Agency has revealed that the two sorriest, shitiest, totally worthless US governors are Ron DeSantis of Florida, and Greg Abbott of Texas. Reporter Velveeta Maracas recently conducted her ver…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Experts in the weather field are extremely concerned after analytical computers have revealed that this year’s ninth named hurricane is predicted to strike Idaho. Hurricane Ida has been forecast by 6 different hurricane p…
California - Vegetarians and other non-flesh eaters are most likely to be shooting blanks these days according to a sanitary protection specialist pimping glow-in-the-dark tampons. The manufacturers of RadiantPlugs periodwear said today that thou...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Heidi Montag is back in the news and this time it is not because the undisputed "Queen of Plastic" has had yet another in her long line of cosmetic surgeries. The woman who, at last count, had gone under the vanity knife a total...
A run on a popular brand of non-applicator type tampons has put far left liberals in a 'bloody mess' according to Chris Matthews, the talking head of CNBC's 'anchor' show, "Hairball" in a late night rant attributed to his panties bunching up in his...
Premenopausal women throughout the country are forced to pay black-market prices --or become petty criminals-- after the unannounced disappearance of o.b. tampons from store shelves. Drugstore shelves have been mysteriously empty of o.b. nonapplic...
Visitors to the Paris fashion show were stunned by the unveiling of the latest designer fashion accessory yesterday. The new tampon modelled by Kate Moss was an instant hit with fashion buyers, and drew gasps of appreciation from the audience.
Famous actresses and fashion models are busy people. So, when it comes to that time of month, they'd rather concentrate on other things. Which is where you come in. As a trained Tampon Insertion Technician it will be your job to see there are no messy accidents. No previous experience necessary as full training is provided. You don't even need any educational qualifications. Just good eyes...
Well known for speaking on live television about her problematic, "vajayjay," it is being reported that Oprah Winfrey is under heavy pressure by Dr. Phil to release what he believes could be a secret weapon in the effort to plug the massive oil leak...
Still arguing with the US Supreme Court over the control of migrating Asian Carp by closure of the Chicago locks, the States of Wisconsin, Indiana and Michigan have engaged in their own nuisance control program, aided by the use of the common tampon.
It has emerged today that Gordon Brown bribed Tony Blair to leave office and claimed the amount back on expenses. The claim for £40,000 was requested in cash on 1st May 2007, payable in used tenners to Gordon himself. A parliamentary spokesperson...
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