Smack addicts 'suffering from congenital cannabis deficiency'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 23 November 2006

image for Smack addicts 'suffering from congenital cannabis deficiency'
Treat a junky with high-grade skunk - do it today

London - (Associated Mess): A senior police officer has told a British Medical Association conference that most heroin addicts in the UK are born with an inexplicable birth defect in the form of a congenital cannabis deficiency.

This usually leads to opiate enslavement in later life and dependency on crime to finance the habit.

The officer told BMA experts that it would make more sense to treat junkies with high-grade skunk products which they could grow in the privacy and convenience of their own back yards.

Alternative treatment schemes suggested this week such as offering smack on the NHS would open the Government to charges of State-sponsored dealing.

And methadone replacement programmes clearly didn't work on heroin addicts for the same reason that alcoholics couldn't be cured by swapping prescription-only vodka for whisky.

The conference continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more