Naked Britney Spears Impersonator Sues Over Plastic Surgery "Outsourced" to Bangladesh

Funny story written by Chris Hanson

Sunday, 10 December 2006

image for Naked Britney Spears Impersonator Sues Over Plastic Surgery "Outsourced" to Bangladesh
Dr. Shoulahbi is a Dolly Parton fan

PALM BEACH, FL - A singer who impersonates Britney Spears has sued a Florida clinic over the results of her plastic surgery, which was "outsourced" to a physician in Bangladesh.

Maylons Fuller, 37, told reporters she had signed up for surgery at Fresh Horizons clinic in Palm Beach because she was older than the real Spears and "needed work" to carry on with her career.

"But I came out looking like this, I can no longer do my act, so I have filed suit in Federal District Court," she said, disrobing and turning slowly for the cameras. As a result of her surgery, the former Spears impressionist now bears an uncanny resemblance to country singer Dolly Parton, both above and below the neck.

Fresh Horizons director Frederick Jones denied culpability, saying the "dramatic changes" in the patient's appearance resulted from an "act of God," as defined in his contract with Fuller.

He acknowledged in an interview he has cut costs and increased profits by "outsourcing" surgery to a physician in Bangladesh, using an international telephone hookup, and a fiber optic TV endoscope and remote control scalpel.

"Watching a TV screen, using remote control dials and joystick, the surgeon can operate without ever touching the patient," said Jones. "The surgeon can be thousands of miles away, and only a technician need attend the patient in person. Our highly qualified surgeon in Dacca, Dr. Rabi Shoulahbi, charges one 120th of the going U.S. rate."

During Fuller's surgery, a windstorm -- Jones' "Act of God" -- kept cutting the electricity and interfered with the TV picture of Miss Fuller on which Shoulahbi was relying. When the picture was down entirely, for some 20 minutes, Shoulahbi had to operate "on instruments" like a pilot flying in fog, Jones said. In those vital minutes, Shoulahbi used a Dolly Parton poster as a model because it was pinned to his door and he had no detailed life size photo of Spears.

"Dr. Shoulahbi happens to be a Parton fan and he worked with the resources that were available. My advice to Miss Fuller is, 'Either sue God or impersonate Parton,'" Jones said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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