Global Warming: Gloom or Boom

Funny story written by Harry Buttz

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Honolulu, Hawaii - Although many feel the now undeniable green house effect occurring at a global level spells doom for the future of humankind, there is a growing number of people whom welcome, even hope that the global warming process continues.

"Global warming is the best thing to happen since the invention of the surfboard" states Jay "Lizard" O'Connoll, a big wave surfer living on the beaches of Hawaii, "I can't wait for the next killer tsunami to hit, I mean I'll be shootin' the curl of a hundred foot wave, bro!" , he continued, referring to the abnormal weather systems believed created by the greenhouse effect.

O'Connell is not the only one excited about the prospects of an ozone depleted atmosphere. Global warming means big business for some. From window tint manufacturers to skin care companies, corporations are gearing up for what may be the big push needed to rescue the global economy.

"We are so busy, I've opened two more offices", claims Dr. Sueme, a dermatologist based in California, "skin cancer cases have increased dramatically which translates to more money for me. Finally, I'm able to afford that obscenely expensive sports car I've always wanted" .

"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade" explains Hung Lo, an entrepreneur from Japan. "We need to stop pointing the finger at factories with high emission rates, and thank them for the opportunities they are creating" . Mr. Lo is snapping up real estate properties just off the Florida coastline in hopes that the rising ocean levels, due to melting ice caps, will flood the current shoreline making his properties "beachfront", tripling their value. "Global warming is here to stay, so suck it up", he added.

World wide, it appears the growing trend is not to fight global warming, but to embrace it. This is the legacy we have to leave to our children's children. So we may need to put on a little more sunscreen lotion, the benefits of a no ozone layer earth are limitless, according to many. The future is looking brighter every day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more