New Mental Disorder Found in Psychiatrists

Funny story written by Elvin F. Verdad

Thursday, 6 July 2006

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Psychiatrist in Late Stage FHS

Most mental disorders are found "by" psychiatrists. In an interesting revelation, a team at New York City's Ronald Reagan Centre for Liberal Culture has detected a new disorder "in" psychiatrists. The disorder, known as FHS, or Failure to Help Syndrome, has now been documented as existing in as many as 100% of psychiatrists. FHS has also been observed in psychologists and clinical social workers working on implementation of the psychiatric-based TeenScreen program.

"Frankly we're pretty sure that all psychiatrists have the FHS disorder but some do not manifest the symptoms until late in their career" says Ilman Duchornity, one of the researchers. "It might just be safer to assume that all of them have it and to recommend broad treatment for all. The consequences of leaving FHS untreated can be catastrophic to the psych, his patients, and the society at large."

Most psychiatric "disorders" are considered to be brain-based, permanent, incurable conditions, although none of these factors has been scientifically demonstrated. Calling uncomfortable feelings and behaviours a "mental disorder" is really more related to marketing or insurance billing. FHS is unique is that it is not considered as a brain condition, at least by the team at the Reagan Centre. It remains possible that a pharmaceutical company will see a potential for profit and begin promoting the brain-disease theory for FHS.

What the Reagan Centre researchers found is that FHS has a specific identifiable cause and that addressing the cause directly can bring about a complete cure. It is possible that heavy doses of psychotropic drugs or ECT would make the condition easier to live with. None of the Reagan Centre researchers have ties to pharmaceutical companies and therefore had no reason to study or recommend that course of treatment.

It has been known for quite some time that the whole fraud of psychiatry, the false belief in brain diseases, the false psychiatric labels, and the use of brutal, damaging treatments such as mind-altering drugs, ECT, lobotomies, and involuntary imprisonment are very damaging to the recipients of the treatment. Through associations such as family ties, work relationships, etc. they are also damaging to others and to the community at large. What is new in the Reagan Centre research is the realization that the psychiatrists themselves are also harmed by the whole sodden lot. And the condition seems to get progressively worse with the more years of psychiatric practice. Indicators of FHS include a form of unreality where the psych can no longer see the damage that his treatments do. In its advanced stages, they can treat someone for feeling a little glum on rainy days and end up with a person addicted to drugs, unable to carry on a job, incapable of sex, unable to sleep, with trembling hands from the effects of the drugs and will report that case as a success! Other indicators are alcohol abuse, marital strife, and suicide.

The cure for FHS is simple. The person simply gives up Psychiatry permanently and finds meaningful work. In a research study involving 137 psychiatrists, 41 remained in their original position as psychiatrists. The entire control group continued to display the symptoms of FHS except for one who attempted suicide and is now housed at Hockingham State Mental Institution wearing comfortable jammies and bunny slippers while enjoying his coloring books and pink teddy bear. His symptoms have improved but he was disciplined recently for giving Rorschach tests to other patients from the coloring book. Of the 96 who took the FHS treatment, all have greatly improved the indicators of their FHS. Eighty-six of the group found various other jobs and are doing well, with careers ranging from bank president to janitor. Curiously, a large number found success as used car salesmen. Of the others, most are still looking for meaningful employment but despite the financial hardships are reporting great improvement of their FHS. One remarked, "I'm homeless and living on the streets now but at least I can sleep at night after an honest day of begging". One of the former psychs wrote a book about the fraud of psychiatry, made nearly 7 million pounds and retired to the French Riviera with a mail order bride from Cambodia named Haht Ti.

The Reagan Centre team hopes to set up special telephone hotlines for sufferers of FHS where they will be told to "STOP HARMING IN THE NAME OF HELP!", and to GET A REAL JOB!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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