Toys for foetuses are set to be the next big thing

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

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Your baby appears to be playing with a small football Mrs Beckham

Babies like to play. As any third trimester mother will tell you, they like to start playing before they are even born. From swinging off the placenta to going through the dance routine from Grease, they never stop moving.

With the latest range of toys from WonderBairnes Games, this playing can now be done with a series of toys specially designed for use in the womb.

"We've got toys that play music," said WB Games product designer, Paige Reade, "toys that rattle, and toys that have lights on."

All the toys are designed to fit up the narrow entry point to the foetus's current location and be grasped by hands that have not yet learned to hold onto anything.

"A lot of research has gone into these toys," said Reade. "Our beta testers have all claimed that the pre-born enjoy playing with the toys."

The new range of toys has prompted a change in the toy voluntary labelling scheme that indicates the age range the toy is suitable for. As well as 0-6months and 3 years and over due to small parts, there will be an additional two categories: -3months to birth and -6 - -3 months.

"Several high street toy stores have shown a great deal of interest in the toys," said Reade. "We expect them to be big sellers."

Partners of pregnant women have said the rattling noise puts them off sex, but this hasn't stopped the toys being popular.

Midwives have also indicated their opposition to the new toys.

"It's very disconcerting," said midwife of fifty-seven years, Mavis Butt, "when the baby comes out with a rattle that flashes lights at you. Some times the baby leaves the toy behind, as they are want to do. Then somebody has to go in after it. This is a complication we don't need on a busy maternity ward."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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