Chinese Takeaway Menu

Sunday, 11 August 2019

Pig Dishes

1. Deep Fried Pig Trotter.......3.50
2. Deep Fried Pig Tail............4.00
3. Deep Fried Pig Ear............4.00
4. Deep Fried Pig Snout........6.00
5. Deep Fried Pig Belly..........4.00
6. Deep Fried Pig Anus..........6.00
7. Deep Fried Whole Pig......20.00

Duck Dishes

8. Deep Fried Duck Foot.......5.00
9. Deep Fried Duck Wing......5.00
10. Deep Fried Duck Beak....8.00
11. Deep Fried Duck Anus....6.00
12. Deep Fried Whole Duck...18.00

Panda Dishes
Special Offer! Due to accident at zoo!

13. Deep Fried Panda Foot....12.00
14. Deep Fried Panda Ear......7.00
15. Deep Fried Panda Eye.....8.00
16. Deep Fried Panda Anus...11.00
17. Deep Fried Whole Panda...40.00

Sauce

18. Spicy Sauce...........1.00
19. Fish Sauce.............1.00
20. Brown Sauce..........1.00 (not usual Brown sauce)
21. Orange Sauce........1.50 (no oranges)
22. Dry Sauce..............2.00
22. Wet Sauce.............1.00
23. Rice Sauce.............1.50
24. Rice Sauce with Rice...1.00

Rice Dishes

25. Rice......................3.00
26. Prawn Rice...........3.00
27. Egg Rice...........3.00
28. Dog Rice...........3.00
29. Horse Rice...........3.00

Special Dishes

30. Deep Fried Mystery Meat Foot.......12.00
31. Deep Fried Mystery Meat Finger.....7.00
32. Deep Fried Mystery Meat Thumb.....8.00
33. Deep Fried Mystery Meat Anus......30.00
34. Deep Fried Whole Mystery Meat...100.00

Massages
35. Chinese Massage...........................50.00
36. Thai Massage.................................50.00
37. Happy Finish...................................50.00
38. Special Mystery Massage..............100.00

Come to China Takeaway. For all your takeaway and massage needs.

Mystery massage is NOT connected to mystery meat! If you don't believe it, try for yourself. You will never complain about China Takeaway again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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