Interview with Daniel Craig aka James Bond

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Friday, 1 April 2016

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Who Really is Daniel Craig?

Our reporter from U-R-FKD Magazine went along to the Café Royal London to interview Daniel Craig actor of the James Bond film series. Here is an excerpt from the encounter:

Q; did you get selected for the role of James Bond?

A: (Laughing); Somebody asked me... and here I am.

Q: Who asked you?

A: I'd rather not say.

Q: Are you worried by the fact that your character bears no resemblance whatsoever to the original James Bond as conceived by Fleming? I mean, it is difficult for the viewer to believe that you have command of English let alone six other languages which the original Bond could boast of; or that you had ever been to a university except as a tourist. Indeed, and I mean you no disrespect... you look like you just walked off a building site in Clapham and are confused as to how many sandwiches you had eaten for lunch.

A: Yes, I see your point... but you need to take that up with the director. I just follow the script... as an actor.

Q: In you latest movie you are chipped in the arm at the very start of the movie. Any comments?

A: You would need to take that up with the director.

Q: Some people may think that this is the first move to getting the sheeple to think that having their bodies chipped by a third party is okay. Do you have moral qualms about that?

A: I am an actor, I don't write the script.

Q: So, you have no sense of responsibility towards the lines you have been asked to speak. Have you any say at all in what is expected of you or do you just go along with the whole damn lot?

A: I am busy. If you have no serious questions to ask I have to leave.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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