дорогая Donald

Funny story written by Philip J. Moss

Wednesday, 16 March 2016


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for дорогая Donald

My friend, I very happy you doing so well running for president of United States. I very confident you winning in November. Then we can unite our two countries and make strides to domin . . . to lead free world. But first, I must give advice. Is good advice, from my own experience in becoming president, premier and president of Russia.

Is good you throw protestors out of rallies, but better to shoot them. Or else they come back again. Is also good you refuse to take questions from press. But better you arrange for reporters to have traffic accident, or mugging, or get stabbed with umbrella and poisoned with radiation. Is good you tell people what they want to hear, about making country great. Is what I did on way up. But better you show them. Suggest you invade Mexico. Or Canada. Tell public you are doing it to safeguard Americans living there, or to fight Mexican and Canadian terrorists. Facts not matter.

Once you be president, you must nationalize the television and radio. You must nationalize Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, Google and Apple. Control of media essential. Tell public they are run by communists. Tell public they conspire against you. Tell public they have sex with little boys. Facts not matter.

When you control media, you must dissolve Congress. Tell public they conspire against you. Tell public they are all communists. Tell public they have sex with little boys. Is true of some, anyway.

Do not dissolve Supreme Court. Put friends there. Will come in handy when need there is to convict enemies.

Am there for you, my friend. Call for advice any time.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more