Written by John_L

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

image for Bono's Christmas Message 2015
Me. BONO.

Hello It's Bono.

Dis year I have had to deal with those naughty boys from ISIS. Da buggers ran around killing people in Paris in an attempt to stop me singing. But I was able to get back on stage and show dem. Nothing stops Bono.

I plan to go to the middle east and take care of dem personally in the new year. This has got personal. You do not try to stop Bono.

While I was in Paris I was able t get all world leaders to agree on climate change. All it took was one speech from me, Bono, and they all agreed because you see I am better than all of dem and I know what is best for de world.

I have big plans for next year. First I have to defeat ISIS, dat will only take a week or so, because I am so great. Den I have to get the law changed so that I Bono can be President of the USA. For fecks sake I da man, I'm better than that Donald Trump and dat Hillary Clinton.

I plan to ban all guns and make everyone wear big hats like mine.

Hoppy Bonomas
Bono.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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