Mass Transit Systems
Buses- Buses are the preferred vehicle of perverts because urban commuters pack into these smog-belching behemoths like sardines. It's the ideal environment to squeeze up against sexy women with impunity.
Subways- Subway trains slither through the dark urban underground tunnels like a venomous snakes with a gut full of vermin. At the snake pit station passengers are picked up, swallowed whole then digested in transit and defecated at their designated stop.
Railroads- The term "locomotive" means "crazy motivation", and that just about sums up the idea behind this engineering farce. It seems as though they deliberately tried to invent a machine that was optimized for inefficiency just so they could claim it a success.
Ferries- This early mode of transportation never gained popularity among the general public due to the social taboo against homosexuality.