The Cast Against Technology- Part 4: Electricity

Funny story written by Dick Sheerer

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

image for The Cast Against Technology- Part 4: Electricity
Bolts Of Volts


The industrial dynamics of society and civilization at large is powered by electrical energy. As ubiquitous as it is, and as dependent as we are on it, it is the most used yet least understood type of energy we have. Although we learned how to harness it to a certain extent, we have not quite mastered it because the laws of physics cannot explain exactly how it works. Despite our total reliance on it as a necessary component-the central nervous system as it were-and an absolute essential element for society to function, it can fail us at a time.

It was the height of naiveté to build the intricate infrastructure of civilization around such an unknown and volatile energy source. Major power outages that leave thousands without light or heat for weeks are only minor inconveniences compared to a permanent planet-wide blackout caused by solar storm radiation or some other electromagnetic anomalies. All scientists concur that such a threat is indeed real, but most dismiss it as being too far beyond the odds of probability to bother worrying about.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of asinine advice we have come to expect from them. They shrug their shoulders and say there's a good chance it might not happen, instead of developing an alternative to electricity. The dependence on electricity as an energy source is equivalent to building a house of cards to live in. It's a carelessly conceived, precariously placed pit of snakes.

Not withstanding the great global gamble, problems with local electrical hazards are a sure bet. No other product of technology is so predominant, yet so dangerous in society. It's a wired world wrapped in rubber covered copper cables, a great grid of high voltage vipers pushing venom from the power plant to the plug-a two-fanged fiend at the head of a coiled cord, ready to strike at the push of a button or the flick of a switch. Some kill with just a touch such as the electric eel, a poison power cord disguised as a sort of sea snake.

Others kill by choking or burning. But most victims are incapacitated and go into shock prior to death. The complete infestation of civilization by this mass menace outstretched in a vast network of slithering serpents has an unrelenting stranglehold on society. The threads of electrical circuitry weave the social fabric together with an evil entity, a dark malevolent energy beyond the control of mere mortals.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more